2012:the end is nigh!!!! after long hours of research and study, i have concluded that yes, the end of the world is on it's way. that's right, the year 2012 (hereafter reffered to as the year 2012) marks the end of the world as we know it. how do i know this you ask? because i read it on the internet. fear not though, for you, as well as all those dear to you may be saved if you only take the time to make these simple precautions: 1. join a cult. there is nothing more satisfying than knowing that not only are you dying, your doing it with all the other hopeless followers of your fearless leader. if you have trouble finding a suitable cult, ask jeeves to "find me a cult". if you ask jeeves for kids, he'll bring you back a profanity free 100% child safe cult site in a butterfly net. 2. make a bunker. your bunker needs to be furnished with anything you'll need for the rest of eternity so if you think you forgot something, your screwed. if your cult prefers a color, paint the walls that color, but if not, i'd go with beige. don't waste too much effort on the exterior, as long as it's water proof, bomb proof, and all destructive raging inferno of hell proof, you'll be okay, and remember, don't worry about spending too much money on this, it's the last thing you'll ever have to buy. 3. print off a copy of this sheet, sogn here: _____________________ and send it to the whitehouse. this is a petition to allow the construction and zoning rights required to make an end of the world bunker. it is vital in the process of making it through 2012. because when the world ends and you're the sole survivor, you want to make sure that your record hasn't been tarnished with illegal building charges. 4. send this to everyone you know and let them have this vital information. in previous apocolypses, studies show that those who send more emails have a 35%higher chance of surviving. - -- ---- ------ -------- ---------- ------------------------------------------------- ---------- -------- ------ ---- -- - - -- ---- ------ -------- ---------- ------------------------------------------------- ---------- -------- ------ ---- -- - isn't this fun? - -- ---- ------ -------- ---------- ------------------------------------------------- ---------- -------- ------ ---- -- - - -- ---- ------ -------- ---------- ------------------------------------------------- ---------- -------- ------ ---- -- - now think of something very important to you. - -- ---- ------ -------- ---------- ------------------------------------------------- ---------- -------- ------ ---- -- - that will probably be destroyed in the apocalypse. okay... now you have thunk. now send this to all the people you know or you will all burn in hell. 0-100 people-- you'll burn in hell 101-500 people- you'll survive and then die upon leaving your end of the world bunker and and burn in hell 500-1000 people- your crush will kiss you and then you'll both die and burn in hell. 1000-4000 people- youll survive the apocolypsebut be smitten by godfor illegally building your bunker and burn in hell 4001-1000000000000000 people- youll go to heaven. now send this to everyone as fast as you can before the world ends. By Jim Dennison::bobert:: Haha. That is great. Everyone should go congradulate my friend Jim on being so funny.