12:48 PM The Best Story Eva....SERIOUSLY. Okay...so...Katie and I decided last night at 12:30 or so that we should write a line by line story. Towards the end of it, it turned into us just joining forces and writing though, so read and enjoy. Please feel free to inform me of typos and stuff, because I'm too lazy to read. It's better if you know/have met the boys before, but whatev. This is based on real people, just not real events....here's the list of people... Brady~a crazy ska boy named Brady Nate~a ruler named N8 the GR8 Eric~a wood sprite who assists Brady, named Eric Bret~a hermit who is changed into a puppy Katie~the Nose Ring Goddess, who is all wonderful and everyone loves her Kat~the crazy ska girl from Utah...(because Katie said I had to be in it) Steve~well...we ran out of energy before we added Steve, but considering he is part of Jude the Obscure and that's what this was(plus Katie, Eric, and me.) we'll say that he was at the party...yeah..... [*Note*--This was written at 12:30 AM, and it took an hour and a half, so there is no telling what you'll find. Don't say we didn't warn you.] AND NOW FOR THE STORY..... -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- Once upon a time there was a ska boy named Brady. He was very cute, but he also had a very large problem. His very large problem was that he couldn’t skank! How was he to cure such a thing that caused him to be such a social outcast? Brady decided that he had to solve it somehow. So, he went to see N8 the GR8(he knows all.) When the little ska boy arrived at N8 the GR8’s lair, he offered his gift of a modded xbox and Halo 2. N8 the GR8 was deeply offended, as he did not believe in modding the wondrous xbox. Brady fell into a crumpled heap on the floor and begged for forgiveness for his treacherous sin. N8 the GR8 slammed the modded xbox into the wall, inches from crushing Brady’s skull. Then an idea came to N8, he could send the little ska boy on a quest to the beautiful Nose Ring Goddess. But how to get the little ska boy to go without a fight? “I will offer you a quest, or I will smash your skull. If you complete the quest, I will let you live and grant one favor of your choice.” Brady pondered this choice, but decided it was in his favor to go. “I fear this quest, but I will accept if you promise to grant my wish.” N8 the GR8 agreed without questioning Brady’s request. So, Brady was sent on his way to the Nose Ring Goddess with no clue as to the great peril he would face. N8 the GR8 had been unclear with his directions, other than he had to go to the Nose Ring Goddess. And so, Brady went unknowingly and fearful. Brady reached a large road and pulled a travel map from his backpack. Unfortunately, the travel map was actually a catalogue for Fred’s Mail Order Fedoras. Brady sighed, he was never prepared. To go left or right? That was the question. Brady couldn’t make a decision and so he decided using the eenie meanie minee moe method. “Eenie*points right* meanie*points left* minee*points right* moe*points left* catch*right* a *left* tiger*right* by*left* the*right* toe*left* if*right* he*left* hollers*right* let*left* him*right* go*left* eenie*right* meanie*left* minee*right* moe*left*. And so, Brady went left. As Brady trudged(yes, trudged) he saw a dark handsome figure springing along the woods next to the road. The character was rather light and small, curious indeed.(I bet you thought tall when we said dark and handsome.) Brady tilted his head in confusion, wondering who the person was and chased after him. The little wood sprite flitted on, just out of a clear vision field. “Hey! Wait!” Brady shouted, hearing his voice echo all around. The echo made Brady shiver, realizing that he had chased the little fellow deeper into the woods than he had ever been. To his delight however, the sprite stopped dead in his tracks. “Can you direct me to the Nose Ring Goddess?” Brady questions, feeling awkward. At first, the little sprite said nothing and just floated in mid-air, blinking in Brady’s general direction. Slowly, as though stupid, the wood sprite nodded. Just as Brady felt that that was all the more information he would get from the little fellow, the sprite began to jabber at a rather dizzying pace. “You take a left at the mill, and a 75 degree turn at the river, then go 82 paces south,” was all Brady caught of the directions. “Um…would you like to help me get there?” Cautiously, the little sprite looked Brady over and then agreed a little too enthusiastically for Brady’s taste. Still, Brady knew that he needed the help and hey, having a companion couldn’t be so bad, even if he was a little…er…different, right? So, the newly found friends continued on their way through the woods to see the Nose Ring Goddess. As they traveled, Brady grew weary and decided he needed stop for a cream soda. Unfortunately, and as all good woodsmen know, there are no soda stands in the middle of the woods. This is where the little sprite’s magical powers came in handy. The little wood sprite looked at the boy who couldn’t skank and said “By the way, my name is Eric and I have magical powers. My specialty is making cream soda from fedora catalogues. You wouldn’t happen to have one, would you?” Brady heaved a sigh of relief, thought for a moment, and then rooted around his travel pack for his ever-so-handy Fred’s Mail Order Fedora catalogue. Eric smiled and accepted the pages saying “Only a few more miles to that sexy Nose Ring Goddess’s home!” And so, with cream soda in hand, wood sprite on shoulder, and Fexy Fedora catalogue pages in back pack, the dynamic duo headed on down the path. When they reached the river(as mentioned previously by the sprite.), they came upon a little cottage. The cottage was picturesque, with little curls of grey smoke piping from the chimney and a little old man sitting his rocking chair on the front porch. As the pair approached, they sensed tension in the air. The little sprite watched in horror as the little old hermit leapt from his rocker on to the helpless skank deficient boy and began pummeling him with mallard ducks(this maneuver also known as DUCK GANG RAPE!) Brady tried his best to avoid the vicious blows being rained upon him. Just as it seemed that Brady would lose the fray, Eric, the little wood sprite, interfered, spitting cream soda all over the decrepit old man. With a flash of light and a puff of blue smoke, the hermit(to the horror of Brady and Eric) morphed into a whimpering, beaten puppy. Brady’s golden heart was instantly melted by the image of this poor, cowering, helpless beast. Scooping the up puppy into his arms, Brady and Eric went on their merry way with their new found friend. Brady scratched the puppy’s ear, puzzled. “What should we call him?” he asked Eric, the little wood sprite. “Let’s call him Bethany!!” Eric exclaimed. With a lift of his leg on to Brady’s checkered slacks, the puppy promptly disagreed. “How about Bret?” asked Brady. The little puppy wagged his tail and on the trio traveled. In the distance, the trio could see the Nose Ring Goddess’ castle. Eric and Brady linked arms and skipped towards it, while Bret rode in Brady’s backpack(almost like Toto from the Wizard of Oz, who, by the by, is Bret’s hero). Nearing the castle, Brady felt a sense of power. He knew this was the right place, but did not know what to do when he actually met the Goddess. Entering the gates of the kingdom was an awe-inspiring experience, as loud emo music blasted from the speakers. Brady cringed at the sound of the whiney, emo kids voices and their inability to play instruments, but he held his mission in mind. There in the center of the courtyard, floated the most beautiful, tattooed goddess he’d ever laid eyes on. Her red hair flowed about her in amber waves and her diamond nose ring glinted in the sunshine as she turned to face the odd newcomers, first laying eyes on the long haired rude boy, next on the adorable and abused puppy. Finally, her eyes landed on the most beautiful creature she’d ever seen. She beckoned the sprite to her and picked him up in one hand. As the little sprite stood in the center of her palm, a spark of love emitted from his eyes and hers and they started making out and tore off each others clothes. Timid and fearful as always, Brady stood horrified. But, he knew that if he didn’t speak up for himself, he would never learn how to skank. Off in the corner, the little puppy was piddling again. Suddenly the Goddess whipped around from making out with Eric and questioned Brady’s presence. He babbled his sender’s name and the Goddess was outraged! She waved her magic wand and all four individuals were transported from her kingdom to N8 the GR8’s. The Goddess started in on N8 the moment she saw him. Through fits of rage, she tells N8 how furious and sick she was of him sending people on behalf of himself to make her fall in love with him. Angered by this, N8 turned on Brady and threatened to departicalize him. As the departicaliztion beam leaves N8 the GR8’s septer, Brady whips out his trusty fexy fedora catalogue and bounces the beam back at N8. Instantly, N8 the Gr8 disappeared and the whole king rejoiced. Follow Up-A huge ska celebration was thrown in honor of the Goddess and her new love(the sprite, incase you forgot.) At this crazy ska party, a crazy ska girl from Utah taught Brady how to skank and everyone lived happily ever after.