9:58 PM Most profound moment I've had in a long time. A lot of it thanks to Cait. Matt gets some credit for making me wake up to how emo I've been recenlty. Courtney of course wins for being right all along. Me and Cait were talking, like usual. I love that girl. She said Scott was unexplainable and I agreed. He's unexplainable to us both, but in different ways. To me, Scott represents the whole idea of love. He also represents all the heartbreak that had the potential to happen. Scott represents the beginning, the first, the most memorable. Perfection. Scott is used a source of comparison for potential boys. It's my excuse for not liking a new boy. He doesn't have that 'something' Scott has. Then I realized today, I've known Scott for almost a year. I have to get to know new boys if anything's gonna happen. I can't just say a new guy isn't as nice as Scott the first time I meet him and discard him like a piece of unwanted paper. So really, I don't think I have feelings for Scott. It's just my way of holding on to my past. Letting go of Scott could mean letting go of Utah and last summer. My subconcious seems to think it means letting go of all the good stuff we had. But it doesn't. I might have a crush on Scott. But I think it's more that I liked the way Scott made me feel when he told me I was beautiful or that he felt for me. krtrunner88: You should. You deserve a good guy Kat. Some guy who would give away all the lizs in the world for you. I don't know. I feel so relived. Like I've gotten rid of some weight I've been carrying around for the past two months. Profound moment, perfect.