And cereal at 3 in the afternoon never felt better. Last night, after all that thinking I did, I went to Erica's house for some advise. She is always right. I asked her what the RIGHT thing to do is...and she told me... And I agree with her. So that's what I am ganna do. I know that maybe my first reactions MAY BE wrong...so the double check is a good thing...atleast I know I am not crazy. There can't be TWO people in the world as crazy as everyone THINKS I am. So there are new roads in my neighborhood and I still haven't gone down them to see where they go. I think I will do that today, on my way top the bank. That's ganna be nice. I just watched Monster with my dad. Man, I thought that lady was still alive. I didn't know they executed her, already. That was a sad story. Had a dream last night. And it fit just like a glove...Not the one OJ put on either! So I made a copy of my first paycheck and I am thinking about getting it framed. Who knows.... I am really happy for myself though. It's funny because when Jared first got locked up, I was worried about the Unit brain washing him into all this religious stuff. But now I see where the REAL brain washing lies. It's not at the prison, though...just right down Highway 6. My mom is ganna watch the baby for me every other Friday night. Which is good. Because I would much rather have her watch him than anyone else. Atleast she reads his nighttime Bible to him! And doesn't think twice about it either. I think I am ganna increase the amount of time he spends at home instead of being away at other peoples houses. I don't work Saturdays, Sundays or Mondays. So I will be home with the baby on those days EVERY weekend. Sandy can have him the Friday nights that my mom doesn't. Its just not healthy for any child, up until adulthood, to live anywhere but home. With their mother. I have seen the kind of damage it can do and I don't want Levi to end up like that. Swallowing what everyone else gives him. A child should TRUST their mother and father. Not be taught to hate them or distrust them. Sandy atleast has the respect to not teach him anything other than good. Oh it feels like Monday. My last day off. It's all good. I'll get my stuff done today. Laundry, bank, pay bills, all that stuff...so I can just be with the baby during the day. That sounds like a plan. B ---- I'd like to leave a note to self: You are one person. TRYING to satisfy EVERYONE will drive you to your grave. You do what you have to do to pay your bills and at the same time respect your husband. EVERYONE ELSE'S OPINION IS MEANINGLESS. And they will never know what it feels like to be YOU. Because they aren't big enough people to put themselves in your shoes. I'd like to see how THEY would have handled THEMSELVES in this situation...