headed to Dallas tomorrow. So it will be a while until I write, but when I get back I will write all about it! So Jon and Sean were up to no good. Trying to set me up. They wanted to find out if I would sleep with Jon to get back at Sean for him being so mean to me. What grade does this remind me of. Like I said, Sam "Aim higher!" Had enough of this petty drama BS. Wish I could go see Jared before I leave, but I won't be able to. Maybe when I get back. I miss him. I am going to sit down tonight while my laundry is going and write him a good long letter. Hopefully, he will reply. I do love him so.... Wish he could make this trip with me. I wish he could have gone to Kid Rock. Man, that would have been sweet. With Hank 2 and Kid Rock together....he would have loved it. I am bringing him a hat or a shirt. Something. I do it everytime he misses out on something I think he would have enjoyed. Wish he was here. Here is a question for everyone....does anyone EVER read this thing?????? Give me some insight people!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes I feel like my life is spinning out of control. Michelle explained it to me this way. God closes a door and opens another. You just have to look for it. I'm blind!!! I can't see the forest for the trees. What am I supposed to do now? She said that when Travis and I broke up, He brought me Jared. I had a beautiful child with him and loved them both like no other. I never really loved until I loved Jared. And Jared inturn taught me how to love Levi before he ever came.....and so one and so forth. But now I feel as if the Jared door is closing. And I don't know if God is telling me to move on or to jump in the way of the door. Does Jared even still love me. Would he ever even want me back? And how do I know that is what God wants me to do???? After I start school, it will be all better. I hope I get my loans back soon..... enough babbling already...now comment and show me the light! B ----Note To Self:---- you have to keep telling yourself that he is a piece of crap that isn't worth the time you spend thinking about him. beating a dead horse is no fun right????