what to talk about....*pause*...... I'm thinking, hold on...... I miss Jared. Like mad crazy. I wish I could go see him. I think I might write him and see if he writes me back. I really miss him. The last thing I heard from him was "I love you". Habit? I am not sure. What do you do when you love a man so much and CAN'T be with him. It's not because he is married already, or belongs to another.... or lives far BY CHOICE or fights the war. But because he is in prison. So many people think I am crazy for loving him the way I do. And as much as I say I don't need/love him....I do. BOTH. In a way no one will ever understand. Put yourself in my shoes. Your husband, your life, the father of your children, goes to prison for a good number of YEARS. What do you do? What do you tell your kids when they ask where he is? blah.... blah.... blah.... I just miss him. Here's a lil diddy: Got a date a week from Friday with a preacher's son Everybody says he's crazy I'll have to wait and see I finally moved to Jackson when the summer came I won't have to pay that boy to rake my leaves I'm probably going on and on It seems I'm doing more of that these days [CHORUS 1:] I probably wouldn't be this way I probably wouldn't hurt so bad I never pictured every minute without you in it Oh You left so fast Sometimes I see you standing there Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch Sometimes I feel like I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much God gave me a moment's grace 'Cause if I'd never seen your face I probably wouldn't be this way Mama says that I just shouldn't speak to you Susan says that I should just move on You oughta see the way these people look at me When they see me 'round here talking to this stone Everybody thinks I've lost my mind But I just take it day by day [CHORUS 2:] I probably wouldn't be this way I probably wouldn't hurt so bad I never pictured every minute without you in it Oh You left so fast Sometimes I see you standing there Sometimes I feel an angel's touch Sometimes I feel like I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much God gave me a moment's grace 'Cause if I'd never seen your face I probably wouldn't be this way Probably wouldn't be this way Got A Date a week from Friday with a preacher's son Everybody says I'm crazy I'll have to wait and see Angelia told me a long time ago that when someone you love goes to prison, it's almost like they die. Like the next step up to losing them would really be losing them. Forever. It's like they when into a coma...life stops for them. But the world goes on and on. For however long they are sleeping. But they aren't sleeping. They are awake...that's just crazy talk. Right??? I mean how much sense does that make? not very much.... And another one.... took my love, i took it down climbed a mountain and i turned around and i saw my reflection in the snow covered hills 'til the landslide brought it down oh, mirror in the sky -what is love? -can the child within my heart rise above? -can i sail thru the changin' ocean tides? -can i handle the seasons of my life? i don't know..... well, i've been afraid of changin' 'cause i've built my life around you but time makes you bolder even children get older and i'm getting older too oh, take my love, take it down climb a mountain and turn around -and if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills well the landslide will bring it down -and if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills well the landslide will bring it down the landslide will bring it down hmmmm..... B