but that's normal for lil' old me! HA! Went and saw Jared on Sunday. It was good. We talked it out. We aren't together by any means, but we will always be best of friends. I look at it this way: I could hate him forever and resent him for "leaving" AND raise Levi to do the same. OR He and I can have a growing relationship (friendly or romantic) and lead our son by example. I will take the later.... Jared told me that he didn't want his mom to sign him up for that pen pals thing. And I am pretty sure I can trust Jared's word. I mean, he knows I am dating, why would he spare my feelings???? He basically thinks I have none. That makes no sense for him to do that. And it did make me feel good that he wanted to go off to Dallas (and that I was the only person who knew) and take EVERYONE off of his list but me. That was alright. Now I know where I stand. And maybe that is all I needed to know.... And I don't think it was a coink-ee-dink that Sam moved all the papers that were on top, just to reveal THAT one. There are always going to be people in my life that I WOULD LIKE to trust with EVERYTHING, but reality bites. AND the truth is: everyone is going to stab you in the back once or twice. You just can't let them. The ones that would never benefit and really don't know Jared PERSONALLY are always right anyway. Why bother with someone who might have ulterior motives? Keep your friends close.... and your enemies even closer.... And so what if he DID want a pen pal...it's not like he has the freedom to sleep with these people! I DO....and it's not like I'm not out there dating and doing my own thing. I AM.... But I also, tell him about it so he doesn't have to hear it from someone else. I cover my ass .... It's nice when someone under-estimates you and your intelligence. But then again I think that is where it all went wrong in the first place. holla' B