probably the most uninteresting subject to most. if you live in the area, you know the rumors. the truth rather. i have a boyfriend in moorpark and the love of my life right infront of me. for a year now, and i dontknow why i didnt doanything. he was in love with me even when i weighed 140 pounds. and because of the eating disorders ive managed to wiggle my way down to a comfy 110. that i dont mind publicly saying, because the people that live here, already know. and the people that dont dont matter. dont even exist as far as i know. i havent made my mind to them. we are specks. the one im inlove with, he's confused about his sexuality. and today i told him something after he told me that he was like in love with me the first four months we met, i told him i didnt love him because at first glance i knew i didnt have a chance. but today when brandon asked me to be his, i said yes, but i meant no. all i could think about was him... i signed off. i wont talk tohim till tomorrow if that. and i'llbe rotting inside till then. i feel terrible. i dont know what to do. all that i know, is that i dont know anything, and i love him. www.myspace.com/alyssa9936