wat is happening? this is completely insane. i saw martin today. and he forgave me, and i was such a bitch. so now i left steven a message telling him i didnt want to see him nemore. and i dont knowats going on with me and martin. i really didnt no he smoked but i tasted it today. i kno lame. i missed him more then, i dont kno. he deserves better. WAAY better, im a fuck up, i cant make up my mind. he shud find someone else. but damn i missedhim. wen he left i almost started crying...if it wasnt for nikki and my other friends i wud have. but damn i missed him. well maybe we cud jsut be friends. bc like i said he deserves better. im confused. i need sleep, and i need to think. i never kno wats ahead. but i miss him already. i shudnt. im going to have to give him up i kno it. i dont want to. but i will. 3 more months till im jailbait for him. sucks. so im just really confused