What is the point to life? Every day seems like a vicious caressel that will never let you off. It's like the daily cycles of the sun, every day just a little different but in the end everything repeats itself. It seems like I endure pain for no reason at all. Pointlessly I push myself to the point of breaking, those around me try to pull me down, and all of the things that bring pleasure in my life end up just causing more pain in the end because they all leave. It's been so long since I've been truely happy that I'm not even sure if happiness is worth living for, worth all this pain. There are few days any more that I don't end up considering just ending it all here and now. I mean what's the point really. In the end friends forsake you. Happiness leaves you. The high wears off. And all that's left is pain. Some people try to tell me to turn to God. But what can he do for me. I've turned to him so many times in the past, and in the end it feels like he either forsakes me, or blames me for the mistakes I've made in my life. He never really ever brought me happiness, just this dull sense of submission like a dog shows for his master. I really don't feel like a dog, and I'm not searching for someone to tell me how to live my life. I pretty much live my life to the bibles standards, and probably to an even higher standard than most christians, still religion has brought me no answers. Philosophy just ends up making life feel even more pointless so there's another dead end. I used to believe that the point to life was to become better today than you were yesterday, but why? In the end just trying to improve leaves you on this vicious cycle of piontlessness. Sometimes I wonder if love is the reason, but what I've seen of love it's really not worth living for either. In the end I guess this is just a last ditch effort to get someone to help me out. I'm running close to my last thread and I really don't know what to do. I really hope I find some meaning to my life soon, because if I don't, I really don't know how much longer I can hang on.