for a long time i spent my life in a depressed slump, my entire life i thought i liked to be alone, to be without friends, but now as i sit here, all my friends in the field, my current girlfriend unreachable because of school and work, and no one online to talk to, I feel the same depression that i felt when i first got here to dc and had noone to talk to. I'm starting to realize that I have become a social creature, that i need people to talk to to keep me alive. Now that i really have noone, now that i truely am alone and have known true loneliness, I realize what i once had, I realize that i never was truely alone, that I always had someone there to hold me up, be it jeremy in my early school career, billy mike and jeff in my mid school, kane and david in late elementary, chris in middle school, cat, becky, david, and all the others in early highschool, jess in late highschool, kelley, amanda, malachi, michele, angie, after i was out of school, and steve, bair, cristy and kiki now, i realize that i always had someone, that i was never truely alone, but through basic, the first three months i was here in dc, i had noone, and i was alone, trapped in a darkness that i couldn't escape, and now i fear being alone. I want everyone out there who thinks they have noone to stop for a moment, to take a step back out of their own biased view and take a look at what they have. If there is someone, anyone, that you have that you can talk to, even if it is only your family, realize that you have someone, that you are not truely alone, and cherish those people you have in your life, never let go of them, and let them know that you appreciate what they do for you. Because one day, if you're unlucky, such as i am, they may not be there for you, and then you will truely know loneliness, and you'll learn to apreciate everything you had. Maybe it takes loosing everything you have to understand its value, but if you can avoid loosing, then i beg you, avoid it at all cost. True loneliness is not a feeling i would like to see in the world, and if i can keep just one person from knowing it, then i feel that I have at least made the world a slightly better place. For all of my friends I left behind, I want you all to know that I appreciate the friendship you gave me, even if it wasn't much, and I'm sorry for leaving, but if we can keep in touch i want to be able to come back to you. That's enough rambling for one night. Adieu.