Everyone who knows about this little journal of mine is pretty much from back home so I'm writing this directed at you. I miss you all, I really do, unfortunately since the army sucks I haven't been able to come home like I so desperately hoped I could. You can tell from my precious couple of entries that I've found a new girl in my life, and as much as it hurts me to let go, as much as I don't want to hurt kelly, and as much as i'm sorry that jess just can't hold on to my heart after everything that's happened, I find myself happier than I've ever been before in my life, I actually have a reason to live, a reason to fight, a reason to go on being myself and not let anyone take that away from me. I hope to be coming home for christmas but there's a possibility that I won't be able to. If I do, I'll be driving home, so I'll be able to go wherever I want, whenever I want, and I'll be able to do just about whatever I want. I'll also be bringing Liz, the girl that's managed to give me my life that I never knew I had, home with me. I know you all would like her, she's an awesome. outgoing really nice girl, and she shares certain beliefs and knowledge that the rest of us have, she's got a lot in common with the rest of us. But I understand if some of you, especially kelly and jess, don't want to meet her, I'll do what I can to see you in my own time while I'm home. If any of you have been trying to get ahold of me and found the task to be impossible, it's because with my new car and trying to get things done with it, I haven't been able to keeps up with my phone bills so my phone got turned off, It should be back on this weekend and I'll give everyone a call, sorry I haven't talked to you in so long, trust me I really do miss you and it's killing me to not be able to talk to you. But I think this is enough for now, talk to you all later and hopefully I'll see you around christmas. I love you all and miss you. Raksha