It's been a long time since i left a new post on this diary, so i think it's time to update... plus i need a chance to vent, i always forget how much it helps to let go of deeply embedded emotion. First of all, i'm recently discovering how much karma you can build up against yourself with out even realizing you have done anything to cause it to come back on you. i learned very recently that i left behind some very powerful emotions with someone who was once very close to me and appearantly still is even though we just finished speeking for the first time in over a year. and now that i think about it i'm sure that there are still plenty of people who have emotions directed toward me, and who still think about me, which i know simply because i still think about them myself. and now that i have learned this very important life lesson i am going to do everything i can to purify that energy that has been turned at me and hopefully in doing so i can find some closure in my own life. And now for the good news... I'M GOING TO BE A DADDY!!!!!!! I never realized just how excited that news would ever make me but i find myself happier than i'd ever been before simply in thinking that in a few short months i'll have a family. i find myself falling deeply in love with what is right now a small group of cells but will one day be my own flesh and blood and that puts a feeling in my heart that i don't think i will ever be able to describe... not only that but i'm actually going to try the entire marriage thing again... i never thought i'd get over the first one, be able to ever trust another person enough to be able to put myself in that kind of situation but i think i have found somebody that i can actually trust, and i feel that more deeply in my soul than i've ever felt anything before. Anyway I think that just about sums everything up... i'm going to go now and maybe contemplate other things now..