I Can't Stand IT. I can't stand this. The right now. How I can be fine for a week then every thing going down the hole. I hate it when I lose control. Though i rarekt in complete control. I can't stand it. It's embarissing. Now that the feelings are coming during school. With now way to fight it. Barely keeping form doing some thing realy stupid. Totaly insane. This is an endless cycle. A wild roller coaster ride. Well I want off. Can't stand it. Don't want appart of it. Wanting to act "normal". To be myself. Trying but it's too hard. The emtions too strong & I'm too weake. Fighting a losing battle. Giving up hope. Searching for the light. The few things that keep me here. I count my blessings for the people who keep me here. Who give me hope. I can't stand it. The way I treat thos that I hold dear. Not meaning to. It's a good thing they understand. Cause I can't stand it. -stupidgurlbb