That poem from the entry poem for wounded friends. The last part about waking up with the fading memorys of friend-ships long gone. Here lately I'v been having dreams were Jill & S. are still my friends. When i frist wake up I'll be like i can't wait to tell them about it. Then reality sinks & i reamber what i did. I forgit that every thing is scrwed up cause of me. but for thos few minutes when i'm dreaming i'm extremly happy. but there just dreams. & i can't have there friendships back. no matter how hard i try. I'v all so had ones were S. & Jill just yell at me cause I did some thing else stupid with out meaning to. Most of the time in thos dreams I don't say a thing. mostly cause i'm too confused & afraid of inadverdtly pissing them off. though i can't see S. yelling at me like in thos dreams. It's based on real life. i say stuff & i don't mean to make them mad but do. I don't like thos dreams. I keep trying to NOT think about Jill or S. but the dreams keep me thinking about them. err don't understand why i have them.