I'm in general am afraid of the world. Well not afraid ......at least not all the time. More like parnoid of it. I just wish I could find the words to describe this. I want to help my friend & theres way I can. The funny thing about how i'm feeling is cause it's true bipolar. Yep, i'll take a double zan & a dozen strawberry taqeries. mmm consdering your not sopposed to mix thos. I guess bad. i'm worried about my friends. Which is new for me cause, i'v never done that. Well i'v worried but, not on to the magnatude. Whoa i guess there is some body or people that i do care about. surprised me. I don't want them to care about me. & i don't want to care about them. it's complcated. but it's the way i feel right now. like theres no strength left in me & living is too hard. I mean i would right a poem about it but, i don't the mental enegry to do it. i hate & dipise these thing thing called caring.