That is a fucking kick ass song by the way... lol. Um, let's see. Nothin's really happened as of late. I'm bored outta my mind. So I have planned a movie night with friends. Slight problem, I invited Chris and everyone else I invited has told me that they will not get along too well with Chris. But at the same time I'm kinda not talkin to Chris... I'll get into that later... so he might not even be coming anymore. And then the issue of how many ppl I invited. I have a limit of 5, I've invited at least 7 ppl... lol. I invited... Kelley, Bobbie, Steven, Anthony, Brian, Nick, Chris, Pilar, Angela, Ashley and I think that's it. Let's see... Angela's outta town, Pilar is at her dad's, Ashley has a family reunion, and I'm not really talking to Chris. So that cuts it down to about 6 ppl, which I think I can get away with. It's gonna be awesome cuz me and Kelley are gonna be like the only girls... lol. That's one of the reasons I invited her, cuz I knew I could count on her to be there for me, she's awesome that way. So anyways... um... About Chris. I dunno, I just don't feel the same talking to him anymore, like I'm all talked out. I mean I look back at the way I used to talk to him and it's like... We're not gonna have that again, why push it. Ya know? I mean I feel kinda guity now. But I don't care at the same time. I mean we had some fucked up convo's where we probably shouldn't have said alot of the stuff we did... lol. But like, I dunno... I liked him so at the time I was like, this is majorly cool. But after hangin out with Anthony and them, I was just like... What the fuck am I doing? I'm flirting with my ex-best friends bf after I told myself I would never do anything like that to her no matter how much she hurt me. So I'm pullin the plug. I wanna talk to him, but like... I dunno, it's just not the same. And then even I will admit it, I'm not the person I used to be. I've been hangin out with friends and having fun and I'm goin to high school, I'm not some closet depressed chick, I'm care free again. I'm likin the real me and I can kinda see why he's sayin I'm different. Cuz well, this is kinda the real me... heh... I mean really, I don't feel the need to get him to make me feel better the way I used to. I'm happy right now and I like it. I haven't felt like this in awhile and I don't wanna feel guilty about it. So I'm not gonna say o Chris get over it, cuz yea... Not really how I feel. I just want him to understand that I've been holdin alot of stuff inside of me for a WHILE and now I'm not, so I'm just like... Hey I'm not so stressed... woo hoo... Ya know? So yea... heh... I wrote more than I meant to, but yea... I'm feelin good, can't wait to have everybody over for the whole movie thing, b-cuz yea fun. Plus I gotta talk to Anthony, cuz something's up with him and I don't wanna talk on the phone cuz it's too easy to dodge questions and stuff that way. Even though he's a pretty honest guy so he probably wouldn't do that with me, but still... I'd rather just drag him off somewhere and be like talk bitch... lol... ok, maybe I won't say that, but something along those lines. Anyways, it's 1:30 am and I gotta get my room clean by noon in order to have my little movie night, so I'm out. I'll write later. oooooooooooooooooooooooo and I think I got asked out on a date by Bobbie. And it's makin me feel really suspicious cuz like I haven't talked to him all summer and suddenly he wants to get all pally and he wants to go to the movies and Skate Quest together and all this other stuff... I dunno, kinda weird... hehe... w/e, I'm probably being paranoid. Anyways, I'll probably find out at my movie thing, so yea... That'll be fun to type about... lol... I'll write later, ciao.