It's weird. I don't want him to leave, but at the moment I'm really ok with it. It's weird. But yea... His friend Malik claims that E's in love with me. But the sad part is, I think I kinda love him. But I don't want to, cuz that'll just hurt. It's so bad that we've planned the next time we'll see each other and he hasn't even left yet. And we've planned out this big ass house we'll have in the future when he's a big NBA star and I'm a big track star. Yea... It's bad, but good. I dunno. He said that me and his sis are really the only reason for him to feel bad about leaving. He said if it wasn't for his mom and Malik he'd stay for me. That's how important I am to him. I don't like this feeling. Something tells me everything's just gonna go horribly, horribly wrong when he leaves and he won't be there to help me when I need him. Yea, now I don't feel so ok with him leaving. I dunno, him leaving just doesn't make sense to me. The only good things about him leaving are, he gets a break from his mom and he gets to go back wit his best friend Malik. There are so many reasons for him to not go that I just don't understand. I really don't. In the short term goin to Hawaii is good, but in the long term it's just... I don't wanna say stupid, but it's not the best idea. It's weird when I talk to my mom about it, him leaving seems stupid, when I talk to him about it, him leaving seems like the best thing for him. So, I really don't know how I feel about anything anymore. I'm just confused and hurt and tired and... I just am... Yea... Wow... I'm gonna go cuz i'm talking to Eduardo online and I'm waiting for my mom to get off the phone so he can call. I'm gonna see him tomorrow!!! YAY!!! I hope... As long as he can get a ride here he's got a ride home and yea... I hope his mom lets him. I just wanna see him, I want him to hold me... grr... I'm really goin now. Ciao.