here... this is snippets from Salem and I's convo last nite, b/c i'm a good friend there are no bits of Salem's end, just my comments... if you know me then you know what and who I'm talking to him about... hey... i kno the feeling... i get it sometimes too, not so much with him, but with you, shannon, lane, and jesse... its like you get the feeling that they won't ever let anything happen to you or something... i kno it... and its just so hard to get it across how much you care that they care... and that you feel something for them, but you can't tell them... i'm that way with jesse and brett... its just so hard when you can't tell them and all... i wish i could and yet i know that if i did it would ruin everything… he does act like it, but then again i thought he liked me too... so, no offense, but don't get your hopes up... i'm glad we're still friends too, u kno i couldn't stay mad at you for very long rite?... and i'll admit it too then... i love him too, but nothing is ever gonna change between us and I'm actually ok with that... i don't kno why or how, but it doesn't bother me... and i don't care if he knows it or if the whole world knows it, but i do love him and nothing is ever going to change that... even if he doesn't return the feeling... like all of my quotes pointed out… hey... i know the feeling... he'll never go for me either and it doesn't bother me... i love him, but i'm over him, if u know what i mean by that... i'm not gonna let it bother me any more... something that is never gonna be isn't worth worrying about and letting it ruin my life over it... i kno the feeling, but telling him or the whole world doesn't change much... i'd feel better if he knew, but he doesn't care so its always gonna be the same… who knows... and from my standing point, it would be weird, but I'd be happy for you... i'm always the one on the giving congrats end, never on the congraluting end... strange huh?... i always have hated it... i think its stupid and is only meant to cause pain in the end... i guess because i've never been on the recieving of that kind of love... i sort of have come to think that it doesn't exist…its never done me any good... i don't believe in it or its exitence... and even thru all of that... i'm ok... its weird... i expected to feel lost and all that, but its become a part of my life... that's why i seem so distant sometimes... i don't trust easily, espicially not with guys... and trust me... i can gurantee you that u have my trust... ur one of the few, but u do have it... and i've learned to live off of that…hey... of course i trust you... you've always been there for me when i've needed you... that sucks... sure... i loved to help... anybody who hurts my friends deserves to die... i kno that its a part of life, but i've moved past that part... i don't care about it and i don't let it or its consequences and results get to me or bother me... besides... i don't need that type of love to live... i have my family and friends... and even if i did have that type of love i wouldn't let it consume me... nothing comes before my family and you guys... nothing... and sure as hell not some dumb-ass guy (no offense) that's gonna end up breaking my heart anyways…yeh i kno he is... that's why i had to let go... so that i didn't get hurt