Really, if you wanna know the truth, I don't feel like being here right now. I don't want to be writing this nor do I feel like expressing any of my inner thoughts or emotions. I just got in from a productive day, but it was all transformed by something that I started to think about in four period today. And now all of a sudden I'm feeling so bloody torn. I guess maybe a better song ot be listening to right now would be "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia, if my memory serves me correctly. I'll see if I can request it on the radio station I listen to... stupid phone lines are always so goddamn busy that if there was an emergency, and for some unknown reason you were trying to call in to their request/ contest/ regular lines you'd be so screwed that it's not even funny. I'll just do it by email. Ha! It's great how super quick and impersonal email is, but you damn well know that they'll never get around to your song. Particularly when they just ask you for the song, artist and your email. At this rate I'll be lucky if they even get to my song come Friday. Stupid luck factor *shakes fist* So I see that my american friends had the day off. Well good for you, I'm sure that you deserved to have a little break right after you just had a christmas break. It's alright though, just as long as you enjoyed yourself, or least had an alright day. But I guess since you're sitting there reading this, chances are that it couldn't have been that bad; though there are some of you out there that would rather not be reading this, or breathing... whatever the circumstances are I truly hope that things get better for you. Maybe you should eat a banana? That's what I'm doing. Trying to make myself feel better so I ate everything ranging from dark chocolate (which I really enjoyed) a banana, muffins, chocolate cake, oreos, cinnoman sticks. None of it's working though. I've stopped short of opening my mickey, but I know if I do that then I may end up depending on that to deal with things which is definately NOT what I want. Don't want to end up like some of the idiot in my extended family. Maybe if I were to throw in a tape of some sort I could feel better. I just need something to get my mind off of what's on my mind. Ever have that happen to you? you've got a few things on your mind that you just can't get off of it and the more you think about it the worse off you become and then you start becoming all slouchy and down and interverted. I'm absolutely sure that this has happened to most of you at least once in your life. And if it hasn't then you're either: A. In Denial (not "de Nile") B. A better person then I, or, C. Not faced with this kinda stuff as yet. Either way it doesn't matter much. I'm sure that 90% of you who haven't yet experienced it will, one day... ... somewhere in the future. Only a matter of time I guess. Happens to the best of us so there's no denying it and I won't lie to ya either - life's just like that sometimes. It's got it's ups, it's downs, it's inbetweens and all around stuff, such and crap. Am I allowed to say crap in this? Well, I guess that'll be the second time I said crap in this entry. Scratch that: third time now. All of a sudden I feel like watching one of the star wars movies. I've got the first trilogy sitting upstairs in my room and it's got to be over a year since I sat down and watched them. I should probably go get them, shouldn't I? And you know what else I want to buy, though I'd never tell my family or else they'd end up buying it for me - the Indiana Jones Collection. You know the one that they just re-released on DVD and VHS; digitally remastered and such. Ya, that's the one. But it's somewhere around $70 for like three movies and and added bonus DVD. So 3.5 films for 70 bones. That's about 20 dollars per movie. When you put it that way it doesn't seem like such a big investment. I guess I should look at it this way: The new bond DVD's, all 20 of them are on sale for $320. Now you do the math on that one. That's about 16 bucks per. But look at that; three hundred and twenty dollars... or was that $420??? I don't know, it's been somewhere around two months since I saw them last so I can't exactly say. Besides, it's only one number in a place value, right? Pssh, ha! A hundred dollars here, a hundred dollars there who cares eh? I'm the kind of person to care about that, but right now I'm just... yea. And speaking of money, who remembers a few Super Bowls back when New England took on St. Louis? Anyone who does, please raise your hand. Thank you. Who placed bets on the St. Louis Cardinals? Now I want all of those people to slap themselves with that hand they just put up while saying "I-will not-make-stupid-bets!" I didn't know a thing about Football but I bet a good handful of people that the Patriots would win and sure as sh!t, they did. Now, I'm not the kinda guy to tempt fate but do any of those St. Louis fans want to make a bet? Ha! *knock on wood* God willing, New England will take it again. I've stopped betting ever since then because I'm no fool I know when enough's enough. Now I just quietly melt into the background that is known as society and just sit back and watch... and wait. Here's my rule of thumb about football and Super Bowl betting, what you do is... Nah, I better not say anything. If I do that other "loan-sharks" are liable to get mad at me. Never you mind. Like I said before; melt into the background that is known as society... that is known as my life. Sincerely, -Captain B. Blend