Bonjour mon ami, So you've come back for another dosage of my crazy ramblings I see. You must really enjoy torture. For those of you have not been here before I ony have one suggestion for you - leave while you can. Naturally I expect that to push most of you to read even further and that's exactly what I'm expecting. And even if you just go directly to the bottom to sign to tell me that you've left w/o reading any of it, you've already fallen into plan Imagine what it would be like if everytime you went to do an interjetion you had to say "insert_____ here" and then do the action. Or what if you weren't allowed to insert the action? Crazy eh? Well that's exactly what today's entry is about. No, not saying "insert_____ here" I mean, no actions. Read further on and I'm sure you'll understand what I'm getting at soon enough. If you must know, the song and the title of my entry don't real have alot in common other then the fact that I'm using that song to remind me of what I wanted to write since last night. I got the idea after I came back from church and was listening to something. The guy said something like "Sometimes, you have to act like a stone to say alive." Now to take that in context, he was talking about when a bear attacks you you've got to drop to the ground, basically go into the fetal position, but protect your next with your hands. Oh and hope to god that you don't get killed; almost forgot that part - one of the most important parts. But let's take that out of context for a second and realize how it can really be applied to life. Now I'm not trying to call life a mean vicious grizzly bear (though at times it can seem that way) but what I'm getting at is just how often do we have to hide our emotions to save face or keep things kosher. Seriously now - how many times have you turned your heart 'into stone' so to speak because you knew if you said or did anything that it would result in craziness?Don't even think about it; I know you've done it because you're just as guilty as me. Perhaps not as guilty but you've been there and done that. Now I know some of you may be thinking "*yawn* alright captain, talk about something new for once" but this can apply much more to just emotions. Putting aside the fact that, yes, actions derive from emotions, think about all of the time that you never acted. And not because you were scared or that you were a wuss, but instead because at the time you perceived the situatoin to be a battle in which you couldn't win so in order to stay alive and maintain your status, you didnt do anything. Hey, I don't blame you. You got to know when to pick your fights because if you didn't... well, the truth is that you couldn't win them all. Honestly, there are times (few, but instences nonetheless) when I've gotten displeaesd at people that I shouldn't have; girlfriend, family - whatever, but I had to keep it inside and act as cold as ice because if I were to do something I'd either end up in jail because I won or in the hospital because I lost or very single because I said anything at all. And speaking of which - that's a good song. "You're as cold as ice, you're willing to sacrifce our love..." who's that by? Survivor or some group like that. I remember we used that song for a skit we were doing once - good times, good times. Anyway, getting back to business, I know I had a lot more to say on the issue because last night before I went to bed my mind was racing with ideas and such. Maybe I should have wrote them down and saved them for today? See, that would have been the smart thing to do, but the captian isn't always so smart. In other news, I've finally settled for what I should wear to next year's prom. during my crazy thoughts last night I mapped it all out; it involves a three peice suit, white shoes and a hat. Alright, so I probably won't get the hat because it'll ruin my hair... and it doesn't go well with my look, but it was a nice thought while it lasted. I'll scrap the hat and add the hankerchief instead. There we go, sounds like I've got it all planned out. And speaking of "all planned out" I need to find something to do for the 14th. Nothing romantic or anything, just something to occupy my time or else I'll be going to some stupid birthday party for my aunt. *gagg* Maybe I could head down to the Toronto... or at least crash at one of my friends place for the evening/ night. Who knows - it'll work itself out eventually... I hope... maybe? Alright so I really have to figure this one out or I'm going and I don't want to go. Suggestions anyone? I'll take suggestions up until Wednesday/ Thursday because then I'm deciding what I'll be doing. And I fully know that you guys are full of ideas so let me hear 'em. Sigh-a-naRR-a, -Captain B. Scheming