I find it odd, I went to write and for some reason I put in the usual Cd, but then I caught myself and realized that I always end up starting out with the same Cd - every time. So, I took it out before the first chord could be played and opted for this band (please refer to music section within the above headers.) Now, now I find looking to pick up and find the pieces of what's left. Nothing shattered, per sa, it's more of my own little self fragmentation... know what I mean? And with this huge influx of readers, a whole 100% increase (that's an extra one person for those of you who are oblivious to my usual readers count) I decided that maybe it's time I get back into the swing of things and become my usual self... but the new version. It's like Captain - turbocharged. Actually, I thought of making that the title of this entry, but then realized that most of the rest of it has nothing to do with the ultra charged power of anything, so although i may seem like a nifty title, it's really just the moment's rush that makes it appear as such. Old habits... old habits are the epitome of comfortability. The problem is that we never realize why and to what end we designed our habits, so even when we try to recreate things, or even improve, we find ourselves going nowhere fast on account of the fact that, although we're trying to progress and all systems are a go... we're still caught in loops of nonsense that don't even fit into the larger picture. Of course, we don't realize that they don't fit in because we need them... we need them to operate, to function. In essence, in order to see ourselves as normal, we need to have these patterns we've self developed because they provide predictability and, yes, comfortability. Even if they go against what we're trying to do now, or they make all of our efforts redundant- we cling to them because 'they made sense at one point in time, why not now?' And who says that the human condition is objectively logical? I'm almost always forced to believe that it doesn't not, due to what I see around me. You know it's true too. take a look around. Maybe evenyour own behaviour requires analysis, or perhaps you'll do it just for fun. The beautiful thing, is that we are who we are, and it doesn't necessarily have to make sense. If it made sense, it would be too easy, wouldn't it? I mean, think about it. Imagine if you could see why everyone does what they do, pick it apart and know what makes them all go? It'd'll all be too easy... way to easy. I guess we'd see a whole lot less dating going on. We cn be very cruel, and many people would jump at the chance to just get the fulfillment they want and leave. Too easy indeed. The entire mystery would be taken out of relationships, and I'm sorry, but companionship in itself isn't enough to attract, keep and form a person to another. There has to be more. Naturally, if we knew each other better, it would be able to make guys understand girls better, and ladies, I know how difficult it is/ can be for you. The world may be a better place... ...it would also be less of a place that we know it today. The problem with speculation is that we never speculate past the immediate effects. The problem with speculation is that anything past the immediate is seen as useless conjecture with no grounds and base for reason. But the truth is that you change one thing in the formula and the entire solution can swing into something unimaginable. Nobody sees that though. Historical fallacy it is. Can't speculate, can't say that if the Yanks hadn't dropped the bomb that the pacific war would have killed more people, can't say that if one of the numerous death attempts on Hitler had succeed that the jews wouldn't have died. It could have been someone else, at another time, another place. Would have taken longer, but it still could have happened. Trust me, the problem was bigger than Hitler and WW2 was going to happen - no matter what. A little cold? Maybe. But the truth is that the tension was so great that it was bound to snap. Hitler's ideas was a result of his environment; his hatred for the Jews, a result of Germany's past. But the one thing that couldn't have been changed was the need for the German people to blame someone, shift the focus of the economic depression and mass starvations. Just so happened that Hitler was the man and the Jews were the immediate blame. If not him, somebody else. Germany needed a hero and he fit the bill. But that need for a hero is what wouldn't be changed by his assassination. Who knows, maybe it was for the best on account of the fact that he was his own downfall. Lucky us eh? A little hard to digest, and I know if you tried telling that to the millions who died needlessly, their wives, mothers and children that it wouldn't be a comfort but I'm not getting paid to look at the big picture with compassion for every single case. Last time I checked, there was only 23h59m in everyday - certainly not enough time to consider every single item. Socialism never worked for me anyway. Napoleon may have been onto something with some of his ideas, but socialist bleeding hearts... that's where I draw the line folks... I'll get into economic and political theory another day - or if you want to debate, I'll MSn ya, but I haven't the time, energy and or patience to throw it all out there, so I'll move onto something less obvious. Problem with Emotions- they usually get in the way... everytime. Or maybe, it's a problem with humans. Maybe, instead of letting our emotions enhance our objectivity, we let it cloud it. I mean, who says that emotions automatically result in subjectivity? What if we were to use it to enchance our objecive thinking? It's not necessarily a bad idea to sometimes consult your emotions on what's right and what's wrong, it can't be because we always do it. I mean, we say things are wrong and right, we say some things are boarderline, but many of us have a hard time articulating why it is that it's wrong. Our very core off right and wrong thinking that allows us to pass judgement -admittedly sometimes when we shouldn't- relies greatly on simply our senses and our experiences. Nothing more. Sometimes we include thigns like religion and various codes of ethics, but even then, it's more of us using these systems to justify what we already know and/or believe to be right. That's partially why there're so many damn religions- people can't agree on what's categorically wrong. Sometimes, oh sometimes we even get back into the whole "my god, your god" debate, but we're safely at a point right now whereby we're trying to use our religions on a much more practical level... for once. But enough about religion because I've got so much to say about institutions that it'll make my mother cry and/or disown me. Getting back to the argument (reluctantly) we say what's right or wrong, but can oftentimes not express why. Sometimes we even opt for the "just because," or the "just... no," reasoning. But have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe the emotions that some of us try to get away from when dealing with huge decisions is useless? We need 'em. Without them we're... how would you say... nothing. Rule number one of humanity: part of being human is to feel. Anything which resembles a human but doesn't have emotion is said to not be human, or to a greater extent, said not to have a soul/ spirit etc. whatever. With this in mind, how is it that human objectivity is to somehow preclude emotions? It's almost like asking a brick layer to lay down bricks fo a house without giving him any bricks to work with. It just doesn't work folks; sorry. Thus, how can you expect a being who is - forgive the term - programmed for emotional displays, interaction and recieving, to not be dictated by feelings? Essentially, what's being asked, is for humans to removed themself from themself and make a decision as if they were a machine. Funny, even when we insist that we're being ourselves and that we're not influenced and/or managed by machines we still find ourselves, even at our best, attempting to emulate a bloody machine. Simply striving for perfection? I think not. Now, I can understand when people have to remove their personal feelings and make a decison based on utility or for the greater good - because it's nobody' fault that we have a greater love and need for ourselves, or those that we have become familiar with, than we have for the ideal of the greater good. I mean, we can't touch, feel or smell the greater good. We can kiss, make love to or even marry the greater good. And so of course, forcing ourselves to realize the greater good is... greater can be tough. But I what I'm really talking about is the types of situations where we try to remove all feelings just because we're trying to be fair. What the hell? Shouldn't fairness be a part of who we are? Of course it is. I mean, we understand the concept and within our minimal life we had to have been exposed to it, no? So why is it that, in order to be fair, in order to be objective, we have to remove our feelings? That's the biggest crock of bull. I maintain three things: 1. We can't because our morals and sense of ethics derive majorly from feelings. 2. We shouldn't because we're emotional beings - to do so would be redundant. 3. We usually don't because if we were to, we'd hate it so much that we'd never do it again. But that's just me, and what the hell do I know about anything, eh? Most of what I say is unsupported and/or undeveloped. Partially because I don't want to turn this into a paper on human nature, and partially because I've got too much going on in my mind right now. For instance, I went to the mall today to pick up a new pair of shoes for a suit. Nice shoes, good price too. Anyway, I was in line, waiting to indulge a little in a cone of iced cream when I saw something that royally displeased me. This guy, couldn't be more than 22, walking with his girlfriend (who was talking to him, but looking around at the stores) was eyeing down a trio of young females in front of him. Now, I'll admit that they weren't wearing nearly enough clothes, but still, he was gawking at them like if he stared hard enough, he'd be able to see right through their clothes, which wasn't that plentiful. What a guy though. Presummably happy enough to be in a bloody relationship, and he's eyeing down three girls like eye-candy. What the hell? The nerve, the... just blah! I mean, his girlfriend was a pretty girl, the other trio weren't bad looking either, but that doesn't justify it at all. Females are definately patient, or perhaps in this girls case - stupid, but I just don't know. In a world where guys eye down other girls IN FRONT of their girlfriends, I seriously worry about the fate of our world, particularly since we can't seem to contain ourselves to achieving the proper happiness which, is undoubtedly the real good in life. And to think that social, emotional and otherwise self-preservationist beings will so easily bend to the whim of one form of instinct - pleasure. We'll break ourselves and each other for a few fleeting moments of sensory stimulation. Tenderly, - Captain B. Conditional