... If anyone asks, this is one of my favorite BNL songs. At any rate, one of my friends who's turning 19 this year is getting married. I'm not completely convinced that she's ready, but I'm going to have to go with the principle of charity on this one (which just means giving the person the benefit of the doubt.) She seems happy enough, even though I don't think he treats her at the level she really deserves. And anybody who says that I over-appraise females needs to ask themselves if it isn't so much that I over-appraise, but that yon have been under-appraising the females in your life along. Food for thought. So she's getting married and I'm happy and started thinking back to the people in my graduating class who were high-school sweet hearts. Most of them are... how would you say... over. I know it's not a scientific representation of anything, I just found it funny how that happened. What I also noted what that a healthy number of post-graduation unions took place, and by that I just mean that there was a good number of relationships started between people who weren't in each others immediate group. That shows something a little more concrete. Shows that people are willing to hang out with people not usually associate with that person but don't because they are limited in some way. It shows that that same intimidation goes beyond friendship and isn't even circumvented by the possibility of love and the reality of lust or liking. Have I talked about this before? I just got the feeling that I have. Hmmm. I guess it really doesn't matter because this is actually a segue of the discussion I was attempting to have. What if I told you that right now, you know the person you're going to marry, but I'm not going to tell you. Well, I'd probably end up running away from a small mass of girls, or end up bleeding in a gutter somewhere for lying about being able to see into the future. People change. But try picturing that. Maybe it's the guy you didn't think you'd be able to get, or maybe it's that nerdy girl in the loner group who's liked you for the past two years. People change. They have to. We have to adapt in order to survive, and it's not just about survival. Short of the people who have a deformed mentality, we adapt to try and survive well, either morally, personally, financially etc. It's just how it goes. So we become groups to help us identify, to allow us to grow in a safe environment, but that environment doesn't stay safe for long because the hierarchy kicks in, which gives one group the divine right to suppress another, or perhaps doesn't give one group the right to do that. Then the groups become less exclusive, my begin to merge. Members are now comfortable with themselves and their surroundings so they accept other, like individuals. And it stays that way for awhile, until the two groups who were still somewhat identifiable are now, essentially one. Eventually, instead of individuals belonging to various groups on the continuum, the various groups and continuum become one whereby people are placed, exchanged and floated. This is what gets people to see outside of the box. Once the restrictions are relaxed, people become far more malleable. Of course the couplings aren't extremely drastic but they're less obvious than when we first began. So what does all this lead us to? Absolutely nothing. Just means that at the end of it all, we'll probably be more accepting people... oh, and possibly more corrupt (but we don't talk about those things too loudly.) Speaking of corrupt, I was at this thing the other night and I was talking to one of my associates' girlfriend outside (they've been dating for four months now) for something like an hour. "It's like you've known me my whole life." Her words to me. I met her an hour ago. I think she may have liked me, as in like-liked me, but for the right/ wrong reasons. Such a pity; she's really not a bad kid, nor an ugly girl. Apparently he's being serious about this and her, well, this kind of life is new to her. She's young and full of energy. She use to dating the bad boys who always cheated on her and treated her the way her father does; with little respect. He's different, older, more mature and wants them to move in together this summer. He's certainly not afraid of commitment, but she is. Have you... have you ever seen something on someone's eyes and immediately knew how they felt?. That somehow by looking them in the eye you were directly being transmitted their feelings? That's what happened. I knew exactly what was happening inside of her. If we were alone she would have cried. The look on her face betrayed her words of 'not knowing' and I think she knew I knew. But we kept up the charade of indecisiveness until she left. I felt terrible. Underneath it all, she only cares for him as a friend and she hasn't fully admitted it to herself. I truly feel for her because the longer it takes her to realize it, the less inclined she'll be and the tougher it'll be to change things. Here's why: he's not just falling for her, he's sinking. I can't promise anyone the stars. I'm hungry. Back to what I was suppose to be talking about. Marriage. It could be someone you know well right now. It could be someone you will never know. Funny how that works eh? I'm not sure what I think about myself. I want to think I'd end up with one of my friends, this way you already know them well, kind of cuts out the 'getting to know someone better while attempting to live with them after marriage" aspect. I think I'll make a list. Ahhh, the legendary list. Great thing about the list is that it helps to solve every and any problem. I dare you to defy me... I dare you to logically defy me. You know, this marriage thing was suppose to be so much larger than it currently is. Bah. Probably best if it stays locked up in my head on account of the fact that I haven't worked it all out yet. I'll leave you with a few words from the White Stripes. It's an excerpt from 'Hotel Yorba', off of their 'White Blood Cells' album. I'm thinking of a good way to incorporate this into my marriage proposal. See what you think. "It might seem silly for me to think childish thoughts like these but I'm so tired of acting tough and I'm gonna to what i please. Lets get married, in a big cathedral by a priest cause if i'm the man that you love the most you could say I do at least" Still hungry, - Captain B. Silly