Well, it's almost 12PM, and my internet is not allowing me to get on to SitD. I was just telling my friend the other day that I'm pretty sure that my computer is a female. I will now provide irrefutable evidence. See, sometimes, she responds to my every touch - good to me and always faithful. Then, at other times she's extremely counter productive, either PMSing, spazuming or connecting with other computers that she should be connecting with. She doesn't upset me as much as she disappoints me at times, particularly with the choices she makes. And this my friends is why my computer is a female not a male. Al of that plus the fact that I really don't care for males as much as I do females and I'd say that I care for her a great deal. But enough of my computer, let us get on to much more pressing matters, shall we? Today we got an interesing call, it got me thinking that in a matter of three months things will probably be changing. I'm not to sure if I should be talking about this right now or not, but it's on my mind so I think everything's fair game. Yesterday, our house was put up on the market for sale and subsequently we had a number of agents, along with their clients, come prancing through to take a look. Well, this afternoon it was made known to myself and parents that an offer was put down. The exact amount has yet to be disclosed or even discussed, but even at that, it just means that soon we'll be looking for a new place and that we'll be moving out of here in the summer. In a sense it's kind of nice that no one else knows and that the neighbours haven't found out as yet... but there's still a peice of me that'll hang on to this old place. A lot of good memories in this place *pauses a moment and slowly looks around* yup, I'm going to miss 'er, I honestly will. This is the place where I first got a date and heartbreak, where my parents unofficially met one my girlfriends and the first house I kissed a girl in (oddly enough the last two happened on the same day). The place where I've made about 96.84% of all my revelations and the place where I shared most of my tears, fears and yes, even some of my triumphs. This place has more of mine and my fathers blood in it then it probably does the construction workers who built the bloody thing. And now, in a matter of, well, a quarter of a year I'll be leaving it all behind, new beginnings for real eh? And it's not so much the change that I'm talking about - change doesn't always have to be a painful thing; not in the least. It's really more a matter of just leaving it all behind. Naturally I'll always have the memories but never the things to remind me, never being able to forget about it for a while and then one day being reminded of it because of the area. I guess in a sense no one ever gets use to certain feelings; deaths, diseases, disasters, and somewhere down to bottom of the list is moving of locations. I know I'll just end up putting this all behind me; I'll be too busy picking out colours for all the rooms (except my sister's room, because I culd care less... well, unless she asks me for an opinion) and actually moving. Be busy with helping with picking the furnitures ans what to put wear. I'm telling ya - when me and my mom get together, the place'll look... well, in theory it should look good. Though she wants to do this bloody accent wall which I think is a little "risk-A" - I blame Trading Spaces for that one but let's not get off topic here. I think what may be worrying me here, is the fact that by moving to a new place I will, in actuality, be leaving the latter part of my childhood. The truth is that the majority of it is scattered - bits and pieces if you will. my sister, she's got my mother's memory, while I'm stuck with a mix of a good and bad. And by still living here it almost ensured that as old as I may be getting, I'd still be able to retain some of my boyish charm... well, I guess it goes nicely with my boyish figure ... but that really isn;t the point either. In all honesty, I don't care much for my childhood. I can look back and chuckle every once in awhile and some of the things I did or was told I did - but given the opprotunity of going through it again and just living with it in my memory as is - I'm apt to pick the latter. And although all of this be true, I'm not fully assured that that's the only issue at stake here. I think it goes beyond forgetting my childhood. That's just a prime example of the real issue. The real isse is that this forces me to jump even more forward. It can be therapeutic in a sense -almost healing, but I know that it's the truth. And some of you are either going to say "don't be scared" or "no circumstance can force you." To the latter I disagree and to the former I promise I'll stand as tall as I can (that's about 5' 10.34" for those of you keeping track @ home.) I guess it's time to shake off some old ghosts and to just get on with it. As the summer approaches and the deadline continue to press forward, you'll probably end up hering more about this; particularly in the month of (assuming that I live to see then.) Chances are I'll get a few more revelations in my usual spots. I would tell you where they are, but if I were to do that I'd run the risk of them losing their special powers. I apologize for putting all that out there, it was just on my mind for a little bit and... well, I just had to tell someone. Seeing as the person who I called this morning has yet to return a call I'll assume that my chances of talking to her are slim to none this whole march break. In a sense that kind of puts me in a mood to. It isn't urgent or imparitive that I get a hold of someone - but to be honest, I'm getting sick of just hearing the sound of voices in my head. So that wasn't the funniest joke, I'll try to deliver something better later on in the week. Unfortuantely, all of my entries for the remainder of the week won't be coming on until after 6PMish because I'll be out for most of the daylight hours.I'm sure none of you realy care much - in fact I'm sure that most of you could do w/o it, but I figured I could say something extra that kind of puts some extra length to this makeshift paragraph. I think I'm done now though. Sorry if it was too long or not long enough; my apologies. Regards, -Captain B. highnd (say it quicker and maybe you'll get the joke) Post Script - Blender; Have a Happy Birthday, you deserve it.