The past few days have been what can I say...horrible. I'm going back out with Ronny. Matt's basically over me...still talking to me though...I think. But yeah anyways Megan's been sleeping over and Sarah and Ron came over we watched movies...decided to go for a drive...came back and Joe and this kid Chris were at my house...(Matt was inside my house without me knowing) I don't get what the point of him coming over was...he didn't try to do anything to Ron...yet it was supposedly the reason he was supposed to come over? Matt is going out with my neighbor...ugh I fucking hate her, she took everything away from me...cause Matt is everything to me. I mean how dick is that by him saying he needs time away from love and then go to some other bitch. Then he tells me I don't know him like she does and that I don't understand him. BULLSHIT!!! The fact IS that he doesn't WANT me to know him, nor does he WANT me to understand. I should've known that this was going to happen...as usual...letting another guy into my life...and the routine is them telling me we'll be together forever...and what happens next...they fucking leave your ass! Seriously I thought we were perfect for each other...I was happy with him...but he said no matter how happy he seemed he wasn't...THEN FUCKING TELL ME DIPSHIT!!! Don't keep shit from me or things will just get worse...in order for a fucking relationship to work out you have to be able to tell them what's wrong and what's bothering you. I don't care what people think of you or what you think of yourself...I love you for who you are. I gave up so much for you Matt...my time from friends, my time from school work, my time from family...my heart. Now it just feels so empty...like I was used...*tired of Pam let's dump her and find someone else*...I fucking hate it when guys just tell you anything you want to here just so you'll do anything for them seriously...you don't tell a girl you want to be with them for the rest of your life and have kids with them unless you fucking mean it! Someone's heart isn't something to play around with. Yes I understand I fucked up once by kissing Ron when we were going out...but it could have been worse but it wasn't. I apologized for that...I told you about it...I could have just kept it from you and moved on. Not only that but I haven't done it again. You have to learn from your mistakes in order to prevent them. When I was with Matt...I felt so safe. In his arms. Yeah sometimes I got scared whenever he throws a fit but I still never felt so safe in my life...like nothing could ever hurt me in a million years. So what he might be some psycho...but I could still always trust him...he told me I could trust him...so I did. That's the most important thing in a relationship...is TRUST. The worse thing is having an ex-boyfriend in the same school as you and then having to go through pain watching him walk by you in the halls everyday knowing you can't have him. He used to protect me from other people...Ron for example...and threatened his mom with a knife so we could go back out...why do all this, if you don't want me? Then you lie to me about your mom liking me...I could care less if she wanted me dead...all that mattered to me was you. I miss the Matt I fell in love with...the one who came up to me at lunch asking if I was okay...the one who truly knows me...the one who would protect me...the one who could make me happy and make me laugh no matter how upset I was...the one who stopped me from killing myself. It's all memories now... Would it make a difference if I told you that nobody else in this world can love you more than I do? (Conversation with Matt)... JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: what was the point of coming over you didn't do anything? insane pyro spaz: idk JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: mmk well i wont be home tomorrow i'm going to his house so don't go in my house cause my dad will be home insane pyro spaz: ok JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: me and megan just got back from seeing the grudge...it was so fucking scary...she screamed at the top of her lungs so many times insane pyro spaz: whats it rated JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: umm i don't think they have it rated JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i would've asked you to come but i didn't see you online insane pyro spaz: i was hanging out with marjorie JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: why do you hang out with her insane pyro spaz: idk JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: are you two going out cause you guys were like holding each other alot insane pyro spaz signed off at 8:52:51 PM. insane pyro spaz signed on at 8:52:58 PM. JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: ? insane pyro spaz: what JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i asked you if you two are going out insane pyro spaz: why JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: just wondering since you guys were holding each other for a while insane pyro spaz: why JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: what do you mean why insane pyro spaz: whyd o you wanna know JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: cause i just do JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: is it a crime to ask a simple question insane pyro spaz: yea were going out JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: ew how can you do that...you say you need time away from love by leaving me and then go to some stupid bitch insane pyro spaz signed off at 9:00:50 PM. insane pyro spaz signed on at 9:00:59 PM. JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: obviously you don't give 2 shits about me insane pyro spaz: i was gonna go back out with you until i heard you went back out with that airport insane pyro spaz: and plus we started talking then i figured out that she liked me JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: OK first of all...i already told ron that i was gonna leave him for you when you were ready JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: so what i'd fucking kill that bitch JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: why would you pick someone younger than you when you can have someone older insane pyro spaz: you fucking touch her in any way, i will never talk to you, never look at you, and never think of you again JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! yet you think you have the right to come to my fucking house to scare ron away!?! insane pyro spaz: i wasnt going to scare him away insane pyro spaz: i wanted to go over insane pyro spaz: just to hang out insane pyro spaz: i didnt care about him JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: why so you can rub it in my face that you like some other girl insane pyro spaz: no insane pyro spaz: that i didnt plan JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: ugh i really can't fucking believe this insane pyro spaz: yea well, in that case i will be going now insane pyro spaz signed off at 9:05:53 PM. insane pyro spaz signed on at 9:07:10 PM. insane pyro spaz: and i thought coming back into your life would be good insane pyro spaz: i cant wait til i leave for louisiana JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: not if you're going to be an asshole all over again JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: you know all you could've done was just ask me to come back to you and i would have insane pyro spaz: but you were with ron, i wasnt gonna ruin that JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: who fucking cares it's ron...i'd rather go out with you than him insane pyro spaz: i still never wanna ruin thatr insane pyro spaz: in those pics you gave me of him and you, you seemed so happy JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: hmm probably cause he was tickling me in the pictures JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i was more happy with you than anybody else JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: you can ask all my friends JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i was so happy that you came over today i was gonna go up to you and give you a hug and shit but i figured you'd push me away and then i saw you with your arm around her JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: even ask joe how much that was bothering me cause i was bitching the whole time JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: in front of ron too insane pyro spaz: WE WERENT GOING OUT AT THAT TIME insane pyro spaz: SHE WAS COLD AND DECIDED THAT I WAS WARMER THAN CHRIS JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: IT'S STILL GONNA BOTHER ME THOUGH JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: but apparently you got over me quick insane pyro spaz: i never go tover you insane pyro spaz: i was upset insane pyro spaz: but i fell on the cement today at your house and she was there to help me up and you were inside with joe JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: well that's not my fault you guys were all outside i told you all that you could come in instead of staying out in the freaking cold JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: if you weren't over me then you would've came back but you chose her instead insane pyro spaz: IT WAS FUCKING RON insane pyro spaz: IF RON WASNT THERE, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU BACK, BUT RON WAS THERE AND SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT UNDERSTOOD MY TRUE PROBLEM JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: WHY WOULD YOU CARE IF RON WAS THERE YOU HATE THE STUPID GOPHER...THE ONE THING THAT WOULD HURT HIM THE MOST IS TAKING ME FROM HIM insane pyro spaz: thats the thing, i didnt wanna hurt him insane pyro spaz: i think he was hurt enuf the past month, and i think he deserves no more hurts JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: since when do you have sympathy for him insane pyro spaz: since that haircut of his JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: lol JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: seriously insane pyro spaz: i feel bad for him JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: but a 7th grader matt i mean come on insane pyro spaz: IT SHOULDNT FUCKING MATTER HOW OLD OR HOW YOUNG THE PERSON IS, IT ONLY MATTERS ON HOW MUCH YOU WANNA BE WITH THEM JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: well then there ya go you answered it without me having to ask the question...you want her more insane pyro spaz: just cause she understands me better than anyone else has JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: like i don't understand you!?! JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: omfg insane pyro spaz: no, you dont understand me JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: how JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: what don't i understand insane pyro spaz: why im always so upset insane pyro spaz: you never noticed but im always upset no matter how happy i seemed JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i know you are...but so am i you're not the only one insane pyro spaz: this afternoon she picked it right out, she notcied that something was wrong JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i would've too if you were fucking inside the house insane pyro spaz: if you paid any attention to my emotions and the way i act insane pyro spaz: not if i was in your house JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: you were cracking jokes on ron, then me and joe you were outside 99% of the time insane pyro spaz: so? JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: so how am i gonna know something is wrong if i'm not near you insane pyro spaz: pay attention JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: and plus you should be able to tell me if there is something wrong that's how relationships work insane pyro spaz: you have to pay attention to the way i walk, the way i talk, the way i act and the way my rmotions go JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: omfg JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: this is what the first time you've hanged out with her i'm sure she doesn't know you that fucking wel JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: well* insane pyro spaz: idk but she seemed to have noticed insane pyro spaz: unlike you (knowing me for 1 month) JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: I WASN'T NEAR YOU JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: WHAT DO I HAVE EYES OUTSIDE THE HOUSE insane pyro spaz: stop yelling insane pyro spaz: you fucking got ron JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: no i'm not gonna stop yelling cause this is so fuckign retarded JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i want you not ron insane pyro spaz: apparently you loved him the way you were the first day we met, all suicidal cause he broke up with you JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: yeah well guess what i love you more than i ever loved him because i'm not selfish enough to try to kill myself anymore you changed all that JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: you made me a better person insane pyro spaz: but i didnt make myself a better person JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: well from what you told me you said that your mom thinks your a better person cause of us going otu JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: out* insane pyro spaz: MY MOM HATED THE FACT THAT WE WERE GOING OUT insane pyro spaz: SPEAKING OF THAT, MY MOM HATED YOU JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: SO THEN YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME insane pyro spaz: MYT MOM NEVER LIKED YOU JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: why would you lie to me insane pyro spaz: so that you wouldnt be mad at me JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: why would i be mad at you for your mom not liking me...i don't care if she likes me or not...the only thing that mattered to me was you insane pyro spaz: im sorry but my mom never liked you JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: that shouldn't have stopped you insane pyro spaz: but my mom likes marjonie insane pyro spaz: so does bob JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: yeah cause she's your age insane pyro spaz: but bob liked you too insane pyro spaz: marjorie* insane pyro spaz: thats why we should just be friends and go out wiht people our own age JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i fucking knew this was gonna happen, i really thought you were different, like this isn't you at all matt, this isn't the guy i fell in love with insane pyro spaz: you dont know me insane pyro spaz: you never fell in love with matt, you fell in love with someone you didnt know insane pyro spaz: you have a lot of stuff to learn about me JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: then you apparently did the same insane pyro spaz: about maybe my criminal record JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: yeah and i'm willing to learn i want to learn but you won't let me insane pyro spaz: itll take you years to learn it all JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: who fucking cares...i don't care if you are a boring person or some psycho...i love you for who you are that's all that matters insane pyro spaz: you know nothing about me though insane pyro spaz: i can be some serial killer insane pyro spaz: i can muder you at any given time insane pyro spaz: i can be the bunny from alice in wonderland insane pyro spaz: who knows what i am insane pyro spaz: you dont know that JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: and she does? insane pyro spaz: you trusted someone that you dont know insane pyro spaz: you know nothing about me insane pyro spaz: at least shes not gonna bitch at me everytime i do something wrong insane pyro spaz: at least shell tell me not to do something and learn from my mistake JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: I NEVER FUCKING BITCH AT YOU ARE YOU KIDDING ME THERE HAS BEEN SO MANY FUCKING TIMES I KEPT MY FUCKING MOUTH SHUT CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO FUCK THINGS UP FOR US LIKE I HAVE ALL THE OTHER GUYS JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: all you have to do is fucking tell me that you don't want me and you want her and then i'll be gone insane pyro spaz: and you have yet to notice but she wont go off and date me yet go off and blow another guy JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: I DIDNT BLOW RON BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I DIDN'T LEAVE YOU, YOU left me JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: you could've just told me the truth that you don't want me cause i "don't know you" insane pyro spaz: CAUSE OF THE FACT THAT IF IT HAPPENED ONCE, IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN insane pyro spaz: once a cheater, always a cheater JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: I HAVENT CHEATED ON YOU SINCE THAT 1 FUCKING KISS WITH RON AND DON'T SAY ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER CAUSE YOU SAID YOU CHEATED ONCE YOURSELF ALSO IN THE PAST JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: don't be a fucking hypocrite insane pyro spaz: but i never cheated on you, you cant say that im being a hypocrite if i never fucking cheated on you JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: but you have cheated so by saying once a cheater always a cheater meaning you can cheat in the future, but i trust you i knew you would never cheat on me but you're making it such a big deal like i fucked him or something but i didn't JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: but if we were going out still i would've never laid a finger on him insane pyro spaz: ugh ..... why the fuck do you waste your time on me? insane pyro spaz signed off at 9:42:11 PM. Anyways...me and Megan went to see "The Grudge" last night...it was so scary...she screamed so loud lol. (Conversation with Jack)... JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: dat wasnt me who im'd u earlier 2day, dat was my frend sarah OFlAsH3: awsome u freak ttyl JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: ew fine be an ass i was jus tryin 2 be nice 2 u OFlAsH3: yeah u fucked ron a a washermachine u goddamn whore OFlAsH3: thats right u fucking skanky lil bitch JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: ya im a whore cuz i fucked my boyfriend JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: im going out wit him u dumb fuck OFlAsH3: hes right next to me JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: so? OFlAsH3: so that means fuck yourself? OFlAsH3: and send the pics to me JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: or not OFlAsH3: or yes OFlAsH3: FUCK THE POLICE BITCH! JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: rather not OFlAsH3: wh not OFlAsH3: were fight matt tomarow OFlAsH3: biznitch JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: 2 bad he wont be coming 2 my house we're not talking to each other nemore OFlAsH3: that sucks because ron told me u guys fucked last night JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: no we didnt JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: da last time i fucked matt was like a week ago OFlAsH3: is ron going out with you for sex?> JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: idk how bout u ask him OFlAsH3: a freshman u dick head JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: ur confuzing me OFlAsH3: die bitch JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i dare u 2 say shit 2 my face 2morrow OFlAsH3: ok mother fucking crack whore bitch JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: u alwayz talk shit online n' den u try 2 be all nice n' touchy wit me in person itz pathetic OFlAsH3: your black JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: more than u'll ever be OFlAsH3: you bet your nigger ass JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: yupp OFlAsH3: fershizzle JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: if u say so OFlAsH3: fuck you JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: no thanx rather not JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: im tryin 2 get past da whole fucking a 15 yr old phase sorry OFlAsH3: neither would i OFlAsH3: yeaqh i agree OFlAsH3: well is that y u talk to freshman JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: idk jack, i recall dat u were once a freshman n' i talked 2 u OFlAsH3: well u were one a bitch and that never changed OFlAsH3: you big titty monster JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: lol i kno im a bitch doeznt bother me JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: megz da 1 whoz in a C cup not me OFlAsH3: well megans a cheerleader so you know there born to be bitches and u guys can dyke out together JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: nope sorry i worship the cock only JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: n' 2 bad she aint a cheerleader nemore OFlAsH3: really musid muhamids? JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: wtf r u talkin bout OFlAsH3: how bout osama your momma OFlAsH3: how about dirty q-tip JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: cuz u make sense n' all OFlAsH3: i do? JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i was bein sarcastic OFlAsH3: me 2 OFlAsH3: asshole butt licker why dont u fart in rons face again you short lil penis licker and cum shot in you ear JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i never farted in rons face OFlAsH3: thats not wut he said OFlAsH3: ron's right next to me and said u were going out with him OFlAsH3: im here with frank and p.j doug OFlAsH3: soo boohya OFlAsH3: biznitch JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: well not my fault he's not smart enough to know the difference between a girl cumming and someone farting OFlAsH3: i got proof he lies JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: OFlAsH3: ron's right next to me and said u were going out with him JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: I AM GOING OUT WITH HIM YOU IDIOT OFlAsH3: werent* JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: that's nice JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i know he lies i'm not dumb just like how megan found his dip today that he supposedly stopped doing OFlAsH3: i found it to JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: good 4 u OFlAsH3: good for u assmuncher OFlAsH3: go cheat on ron like u always do JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: always do? i only did it once genius JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: how bout u get ur shit str8 b4 openin ur mouth OFlAsH3: obnly u doosh bag cock suckin maggot OFlAsH3: my mouth isnt open im typing to u JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: hooked on phonics didn't work for you OFlAsH3: idiot OFlAsH3: ur a fuckin maggot u dick4 OFlAsH3: ur a lil dyke JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: what are you in 2nd grade? you still warn people OFlAsH3: u lil hooch JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: how am i a dyke OFlAsH3: ur a hoochy mama JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i would like to hear this one OFlAsH3: ok u d y k e out with another female JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: lol maybe in your dreams JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: otherwise show me proof OFlAsH3: yeh thats y frank ron and ryan are on their way to ding dong ditch yur house agen JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: cause only you would be looking in my window jack OFlAsH3: u bitch OFlAsH3: they r gunna knock nd run JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: that's nice i'll tell my dad it's ron and make sure he can't come over again JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: then he's screwed cause he can't get ass OFlAsH3: eww whats that smell close yur legs JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: if you think this is pissing me off then your wasting your time OFlAsH3: u r fucked up JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i kno OFlAsH3: u treat ron like shit and he always trests u with respect u try to be a fart smellin pussy JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: treats me with respect by lieing to me all the time right JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: and then talks madd shit behind my back to his friends too JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: why do you care how i treat ron anyway...what are you his mother? you got to care for him and shit? it doesn't benefit you in any way OFlAsH3: well im one of his best friends and hes surely one of mine and i think thats fucked up and by the way as of now its frank OFlAsH3: its not right to treat a guy liek that OFlAsH3: hes got a fuckin heart too OFlAsH3: and the only reason y im sayin is becuz i feel bad of how u treat him JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: and half the reason the way i treat ron is because of you guys always have to be on my ass starting shit with me whenever i'm just trying to be nice and having a fucking normal conversation OFlAsH3: who me? JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: you guys drive me to treat him that way half the time JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: not you OFlAsH3: i never talk to u JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: jack and the others OFlAsH3: ok but still OFlAsH3: ron duznt mean to lie OFlAsH3: hes not liek that JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: and i don't mean to like other guys but shit happens, but he shouldn't have to worry about that now cause no one else wants me but ron OFlAsH3: w/e im gunna go bye JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: w/e OFlAsH3: u dnt have to be all mean to me OFlAsH3: im just trien to help u guys OFlAsH3: but w/e then bye JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i'm not being mean to you i'm just telling you what's down OFlAsH3 is away at 1:24:11 AM. OFlAsH3 returns at 10:39:31 AM. OFlAsH3: awesome dude JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: whut OFlAsH3: life rocks JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: umk OFlAsH3: hahahahaha it was so funny when u said u were going out with ron i was like ron are u going out with herhe goes no...so then i was goina type something like rons right next to me and he said ur not but then he's like i am but only for ass JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: that's nice JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: where is he OFlAsH3: hmm mexico JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: ok be an ass OFlAsH3: how? JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i'm always trying to be nice and you're always being an asshole to me OFlAsH3: how by telling u the truth? JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: yeah cause ron is really in mexico JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: like i would believe that OFlAsH3: he moved there yesterday JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: bye JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: you really believe that he's going out with me only for ass? since when do you actually believe a word he says...if it were all about getting ass...why would he have to go out with me to get it? JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: think about it OFlAsH3: ask hium not me i dont care but i think he thinks we care and so he says that JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: i know he says that, he thinks you're going to make fun of him or something for still liking me after all the shit i've put him through...he told bobby that he loves me and shit...but i don't see why ron is so worried about his reputation OFlAsH3: me neither i dont care what he does because hes not me i dont know wtf happens with you guys JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: then you should tell him that OFlAsH3: he will just laugh JeRzYzBaByGuRl4L: mmk OFlAsH3 is away at 10:55:17 AM. UPDATE: ( 2:15pm )... I just got back from Ron's house...we weren't there for not even a half hour...we got to his house, fucked, and then he took me home. I thought I was spending the whole day with him but his dad supposedly called saying he'd be home in an hour and he's not supposed to have people in the house when their not home. So whatever I don't know what to believe...when he said we had to go, you should have seen the look on my face...I just wanted to punch something so bad like everything is just building up...so much frustration. I just like sat there on Ron's bed sitting next to Ron and I'm just like zoned out thinking about the whole Matt situation...I just can't take any of this shit anymore I really can't. I wish I knew what to do. I just keep wishing that Matt will come to my house one day and come back to me and never let go. I miss him so much :'( I'll never let go.