( 4:30am)... Here are some poems I've been working on all night...all about him... What is happiness, without the misery? What is truth, without a lie? What is a laugh, without a tear? And what is hello, without goodbye. I’m writing this last goodbye, I’m writing it down right here. Because it’s too hard to say, Maybe it even was because of the fear. I can’t take this world anymore, The smell, the taste, the air. I can take it no longer, Yes I know it is not fair. But as everyone always says, Every show comes to an end. Mine has reached this point. This was never what I meant. I want to thank you, For every minute I was there. Lying there in your arms, I know that you really cared. For every time you asked if I was okay, And for every kiss you gave me It was like pure bliss...heaven, And that’s where I want to be. So I thank you for everything, I love you, with all my heart. This is my last goodbye to you, This could never work, I knew it right from the start. I saw you just the other day, I knew that it was wrong. Everyone told me to stay away, but I couldn't be that strong. I saw you coming up the driveway, I tried hard to hide my smile. It was so good to see you, it had felt like quite a while. I tried not to catch your eyes, because I knew it would only take a glance. To make me forget all the reasons, why I wasn't giving you another chance. It was good to hear your voice, my heart felt finally at ease. With you in my presence, I felt so much peace. All was going good, until you took me in your arms. Saying you would protect me, from anyone who tried to harm. I looked into your eyes, I had no control left. You held me close to you again, I put my head upon your chest. It wasn't long til I'd given in, we layed naked in bed. I didn't know how to explain to myself, the thoughts running through my head. I told myself so many times, that this time we were actually through. But how do I tell you to go, when I'm so sad without you? So here we are again… No longer speaking No longer acknowledging the other is breathing Two people who used to say That they loved each other with all of their hearts Both who are equally guilty Of tearing those hearts apart Respect was all lost At the cost of some words Words that were only spoken Because that person felt hurt She doesn't wish to be forgiven Instead she sits there silently And watches him go about his life Trying not to make contact And “Look Into His Eyes” When she sees him She shakes her head and walks away slowly Because she doesn’t want him to know That she misses him and she’s lonely She tells herself to stop caring She thinks, “I would if I could” But now she finally realizes That caring wouldn’t do any good So here we are again. She realizes that everything you loved in life must come to an end Wipes away her tears, And then sets down her pen. I still remember the taste of his kiss, he said that he’d always love me, oh I wish. I still remember every time that we embraced, and the way our hands were always laced. I still remember the way he talked, and the way we would go on walks. I still remember the way he used to make me smile, and to see me, he would go miles. I still remember how I used to fit in his arms, and the way that I would give into his charms. Why can’t I get this out of my head, it seems all I do is sit and cry on my bed. It’s like all the memories are stuck, I wish that we didn’t run out of luck. I don’t like the person who I’ve become, I need to stop this, there needs to be something done. I know that it’s over and done with, but I can’t help but think of the memories that went with. Where are you now that I need you, I just want to say that I miss you!