....It was misinterpreted as a lack of courage, though that isnt exactly an error. I have very little courage and one day I will need to bust through and finally know my limits can exceed where they are now. I need to better myself before I can benefit another, it seems. And isnt that the case in almost all circumstances? God, I dont know why but sometimes I just wish I had a day to control, create, and twist to my own desires. To see how it would feel to be in my own shoes. And then I realise my entire life is like that. I have the Idea of courage, and how I shouldnt let others influlence my decisions. But the idea is where its at, after that I dont listen to my brain and my pride takes the wheel, leading me into the granny lane of safety and never taking that suggestion of a u-turn too seriously. Maybe soon I can finally figure out how when or where I am meant to live my dream, but up untill now I am just the nice guy that took twenty years to get where everybody seemed at 17. Always falling behind, the unvoluntary slacker. -JBN