I'm sorry it's been so long. I dont know, maybe it's the fact that I've had this diary for like 1.5 years, but my life seems to be going too fast for words. It's raining like a madman right now, maybe that's why I decided to stop and smell the water. I'm never too sure about what I am feeling, so putting it into words is just my way of transferring pandemonium into chaos. God, I need to quit whining about it and just get it over with: I have been very out-of-focus the last few months, I dont know why I just have been. So deal with it. Theatre has been going on without me, a feat I am glad to have finally accomplished. I love the theatre, it's one of my only true passions, but I need to learn to deal with other people taking charge before I can go back into there. I sometimes wish I could crawl into my own little book, where I could write everybody into the story exactly how I want them, and that's the part they play. Apparently my life has been typecast. A friend is a friend till then end, but can only be freind. A lover is a lover for the time we have, but can no longer be anything more or less. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. I truly haven't the slightest clue where this is going, so feel free to leave now. I'll go one stewing in my own thoughts. I'm driving my own thoughts underground and I seem to be losing what I once feared. Also, what I once held hearest is fading along with it. I fucking think too much. BTW, is it possible to misplace your mind, only to find the next level requires it? I keep accomplishing goals, only to find they spawn more impossible ones, until I finally run out of steam. Fill me up son, I dont have long. .Steve Update: I want to go to the deserts of Algeria.