I want to find reality in a world that i've been viewing through rose colored periscope from deep down under my defenses. Before we delve too deep i've got to ask: can you find the next host? The next girl to bear the weight of all of my hopes and dreams, can you find her? Cause I can't promise it won't be you and I can't promise that it will last, but all I can promise is that she's not one that I know now. I wish, and god I dont know why, that it was the one everyone thinks I want. Because i'll be damned if i've ever felt as strongly toward a girl as I do for this one. But It's like the perverted bizarro of the relationship I have with my best friend (the girl). One feels like a sister, the other could be the world to me if I only knew for sure that she wasnt just a canvas i'm painting. I've dipped my brush in every love movie i've ever seen and what i've started is a color-by-numbers of Breakfast at Tiffany's, Love Actually, Moulin Rouge, Rent, Garden State and any other indie-love fest i feel like sourcing from at the time. Someone do this: tell me if it is better to wait and let this so-far-four-year-long heart thing eventually pass (somewhere around the time we fix the national debt) or to take it into my own hands and open up three subsequent options: Success, happily ever after; Success, regret; utter failure. Which do I do.