I havent kissed her yet, it's been years and I havent kissed her yet. You see, I was raised on the not so easy kind of love. The kind where the only thing greater than being away from that person is spending every last minute with them. The love where she challenges me, every minute, every hour, every day and i'm a better man for it. I want to be a better man for it. And with this one, it isnt challenging. She's not a challenge. She doesnt argue, she's complacent, and its wonderful sure but it gets daunting. I dont want to live in a world where I feel like I get the prize simply because nobody else competed. It's like when you're buying a cool new laptop computer. There's the really expensive one with numerous gadgets that you know will break soon or be tough to use, and there is the safe one with rubber corners and the most basic software. Thats the kind of guy i've always been, I guess. I look for the challenge. I need to always have a goal, even if I never meet it it must be there. And with her, its the drive home from the race and I dont know how I won but I just found myself in that car with the ribbon. Be is masochism, be it a wonderous form of emotional evolution, be it whatever the answer is clear: I havent kissed her because I dont feel like i've earned it. And if I havent had to struggle, to fight to earn it and prove myself then I feel that i'm misleading her. She doesnt know what she has, how can she want it? .Steve