I try so hard to make this into what we said it would be. I try so hard. And I'll die if it doesn't work, because I've been putting everything I can into making everything right. I'm trying so hard to make it perfect. Please help me. Today was supposed to be the day Gregory and I would have gone to the mall, but since Thursday when we were being "slutty" putting our arms around eachother and such, his mother wont let him. He thinks she'll never let him hang out with me anymore. I wish I could go back in time and never have went to his house. I wish I could have taken it back, or just have not laid on his shoulder like I did. I wish I could have talken to her, I wish I could go back in time to where she drove me home for the first time, and I wish I would have talked and not been so shy, and I wish I could have said Thank you louder so that she could hear me, I wish she could just like me. That's all I want. I want her to like me. I don't want her to call me slutty anymore. Because...well, I'm not. I don't want her to hate me. I don't want her to not let us hang out. Please say everything is going to be better. Tell me that we're perfect like you used to. Just because she said we weren't doesn't mean we aren't. Tell me we'll still be forever, look me into the eyes, and tell me how much you love me. I need you. I wish I wasn't so shy in the beginning. I wish I talked and made out less. I wish you didn't think all I want is sex because that's not true. And I love talking to you, and I wish I could have just not been so shy in the beginning because maybe if I weren't then you wouldn't think all I like is making out. I wish I could have gotten to know you really well over the summer, I wish I could have talked. WHY AM I FUCKING LIKE THIS!? My mom told me I used to be non-shy. She told me I used to be really hyper around people that I met, I wish I could always still have been like that. I wish I made a better first inpression. I wish I wasn't so fucking shy. I want more late night conversations, I want to tell you more stories, I want to talk about the more important things that I have had on my mind for the past few days. I try not to bring them up during the day time, I don't know why. It's so much easier for the to talk at night, maybe it's because I know I can start an important conversation without you having to go. I'm sorry, I'll be better, I swear, please, just, just make her like me. this is all I have, and I don't want to lose it.