I'm so in love. I feel pathetic for saying that. I guess it isn't because I'm in love -- that's a great part of being alive. The reason I feel pathetic is because she's always in my mind. It's not distracting, but I know I can always crawl into that corner of my head if I get scared or hurt or anything and be completely smothered with love. It's the best kind of medication. I just wish I could do that to someone. I wish I could make her feel secure and loved and fix all of her problems, pains, and insecurities by just letting her know that I love her. I don't know if I have that kind of presence, but I hope I do. I'm achy because of Cross Country. It was my first race, on the worst course, and I did better this year than I ever have. Sadly that was a 25 minute time. It's ok -- the fastest guy in the tournament usually runs around 15:24. He ran a 17:38 on this course. It's rated as the hardest course in michigan. I guess that's not so bad. I just wish that I could be fast, get recognized, be praised. It sucks to be the captain and get no recognition. I absolutely love the private entry before this one. On a (somewhat) different note, she's coming home today. Probably late today, but sometime today nonetheless. I feel almost stupid because I'm so giddy with longing and anticipation. Jesus...I never thought it was possible to feel this horny without wanting sex. Think about it -- being horny is basically aching for someone to come and be there with you. It just happens that it's usually sexual. Me, I'm not horny in a sexual manner, but damn I wanna see her and show her just how much i miss her -- with hugs, kisses, and lots of hand holding. :) You guys are naughty if you thought I was going to say something else :D. Angels sigh to hear her name, a golden bell Hung in my heart, but with its plaintive knell -- Would it shatter and fall in shining rain, And I should never be blessed to hear it again. I found this part of my poem today. I love this part of it. It totally applies. I dare not speak her name, because if I do, I'm afraid I'll never hear it...Damn I'm a sap. :)