I hate him.. --I find that funny on my 69th entry I absolutly hate him ..its brilliant Jon..is..going..out..with..Nikky.. I wonder if he understands how bad that hurts me.. I get to watch 7 months bleed away..and he could care* ..I should have listened to everyone in the beginning.. ...shouldnt I have? I got my heartbroken so badly so many times.. --I wanna be with him* even though Jon has Nikky I still wanna be with him..maybe one day..ill get my turn ..and whats sad is that Jon knows he hurt me he goes "you never did stop liking me did you?" that was a stupid question..of course I didnt..and he asked me why I couldnt look him in the eye..and I told him it was because I liked him and I do that with people..and he told me that on halloween it made him happy just to see me..that made me feel very good..even though im still sad about the whole thing..Jon wont dump Nikky for me..I dont even think they are gonna last that long..I hope they dont..that doesnt sound too selfish..does it? ..all I wanna do is be with Jon* .. --And the collision of your kiss.. Back home..off the run.. Singing songs to make you slit your wrists It isnt that much fun ..Staring down a loaded gun So I wont stop dying..I wont stop lying.. If you want ill keep crying.. [ Did you get what you deserve? ] -Is this what you always want me for?- I Miss You