hi,
whatever.
I was going to write this long entry about how I had a boyfriend, but you know what. I dont have a boyfriend.
it makes no sense I know.
but Nick was drunk, we made out. he asked me out.
I knew what to expect because he was stumbling over his own feet.
but I was oblivious when he kissed me.
it was kind of like magic, without sparkles.
he made me feel cool.
I know, that's a lame word to use.
but it's the word I felt, I didnt feel magical. I didnt feel special.
I just felt cool.
If I had a crush on him, I wouldve felt more magic.
but he was just another boy, with a cute face and a meaningless kiss.
I dont have a crush on anyone currently, but I feel better that way.
I have no one to worry about but myself.
I dont know if I feel good enough to have fwbz.
I guess if I were to be fwbs with anyone it'd probably have to be Cj.
I dont know why, but it'd have to be him.
I cant fall in lust with him again, so it doesnt hurt much.
but Kaycee likes him, a lot. and I dont know if I could do that.
we're all getting wasted this weekend.
and I guess we'll see what happens from there.
i'd hate myself if I was all over Cj. but then again Kaycee would hate herself in the morning too.
but we'd hate ourselves for different reasons.
eh, maybe I should try it. because he knows I want to hook up with him & do him a favor and he knows he wants to hook up with me & do me a favor.
either way we both win.
i've done too much thinking.
and now I have a headache.
i'm tired and my eyes are heavy.
and I owe a lot of work that wont get done.
I think i'll sleep next period regardless of whether I get yelled at or not.
I need sleep. and other things.
♥.