hey ... i dont really feel like updating..but somethings making me feel like i should for some reason hmm yeah so..i dont like feeling like im chasing people..but sometimes i cant help it..its like this thing thats in the back of my mind telling me i should just give it up but i found out that i tend to ignore it..when i get that weird feeling i just push away everything that i know i shouldnt do and that im thinking and im just so..selfish..i guess you could say when i want something...i REALLY want it..dont say anything..i most likely already know. anyway..trying to get away from my feeling at the moment on wednesday i went back to oms. i saw a bunch of my old teachers and all that...sophia was crying when she saw the poem my brother wrote about my mom...i wasnt though..because i already did when i read it the first time..and i really dont like crying at all..anyways..it was me sophia and erin and we were hanging out with kyle..hes a cool kid i was very mad at myself today for some reasons...that i wont mention cause most of you already know why im still happy in a way though..so dont let this entry decieve you..im happy in a kind of sad way. its really hard to explain last night i went to the chorus/band concert w/ krystle..and hung out with a bunch of people..it was fun i guess...i got a ride home from mitch but i didnt tell my dad :D he would get pissed...good thing he didnt ask who drove me home..then id be in deep shit cause he doesnt even know this kid..but it was cool mr wiltsee waved to me during gym and i didnt want to wave back but i did because id feel bad if i didnt...i dont like that man..and he said something about im quiet but i can really just jump out and be loud or something...im like whatever old man (you dont knowwww me!! [in jerry springer trashy girl voice]) reunion with the early november. feels great. i was pissed today because i forgot my cd player...it was like hell. on the bus i was going crazy..and during study hall and latin..like a crack addict whose on a drug shortage...you get the picture ( me and erin know how it feels to be on drug shortages...right erin?? lol) six flags this sunday. im there. you dont know how bad ive been craving to go on nitro. wellll i should have some homework to keep myself busy or something...so i gotta go saRah