You Are 49% AmericanAmerica: You don't love it or want to leave it. But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over. On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead... And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch! How American Are You? Wow.... Jerrod kissed me last nite.... I guess I need to update a lil bit so after the last entry happened or w/e me and him had been talkin as friends or w/e like normal i guess and he apologized for believing her ova me all the times he did it and it made me happy that he finally believed me and was apologizing for being stupid. So then we were talkin or w/e and Tiffanie, one of my best friends, out of no where saids ya'll should date and she hates the thought of us being together so i thought it was funna and i told him what she said and he was like yea maybe we should so I wasn't really sure wat to do cuz I like him but I don't want to be anything more then friends so we talked about it and decided to try it out. So we've been hangin out and stuff and last nite i went with him and a friend of his, sam, to a haunted town and they wigged me out and stuff and they were drinking and i was like nope alcohol is bad lol then when we got back to my truck it was like pouring rain and he was going to jump out and unlock my truck for me so i wouldn't have to get that wet but then i unlocked it w/ the button lol but isn't that sweet? so then we jumped out in the rain and i like opened my door and he was like libby so i turned and gave him a hug and kissied his cheek then he turned my face and well yea... it was sweet and in the rain :) but im out.. i just thought I'd fill ya'll in Love ya'll xoxo -Elizabeth

Jerrod and Lindsey broke up again. Matt said something like he still had feelings for me and that was why they broke up and Tiffany, Matt's girlfriend, was like yea some chick he's never met riiiight... and that made me laugh b/c she was clueless. I saw him tointe cuz we ran ova to Sandi and Billy's to drop off the key and he was outside so I gave him a big hug. I don't think that what Matt said was true I hope not anyway because the relationship with him was just too hard I couldn't keep up w/ him like I wanted to because he was too wishy washy with me. He and I fought about Lindsey stuff the other day too and I apologized for it today. I dunno I don't want him to hurt but I don't want to be hurt/confused because of him... Happy daddy's day btw... that's all I love ya'll xoxo -Elizabeth

ok do you think it's possible for a chick to want to break up a friendship between a dude and another chick cuz the dude and other chick use to be "involved?" I want everyones' and anyones' opinion on this one Jerrod sent me a message on my xanga that said... "hey hope you're doing well. lindsey said she went in to DI twice and you were kinda rude to her? were you? i told her you just prlly had a bad day or something. anyways, i love you libby! lets have a party at barneys house and sing lullabys to complete stranger's kids.-Jerrod" I've never been rude to her my whole life and the past few times she's been in I haven't even waited on her! and he's kinda playin middle man if she has a problem she should talk to me right? so I sent one back that said.... "I was never rude to Lindsey I haven't even seen her in there lately... I dunno wat your talking about.... if I was rude or w/e it wasn't intentional and if she thinks I was rude she should bring it up w/ me not you bring it up w/ me... Tell her I'm sorry if I was it wasn't intentional... and if we go sing at barney's will it be like the time we sang at the teletubies?! yay for teletubies! I love you Jerrod you rock my frikken sock xoxo -Elizabeth" So in ya'll's opinion do ya'll think she's up to something or do ya'll think she just thought I was being rude cuz I didn't talk to her... (god forbid) cuz I wasn't waiting on her nor was I near her... *sigh* I don't want my friendship w/ jerrod to be ruined cuz he believes her ova me... I'm off -Elizabeth

mk getting my cellie back and my pato! (aka my truck) I've missed my pato... I need to do laundry... poo... I just wanted to leave an entry.... it's kinda twisted though cuz Jerrod and Lindsey broke up right and although I'm happy they broke up because I'm evil and it gets me off *rollz eyes* I'm kinda sad cuz Jerrod isn't happy... then Nanu Bear and Amanda are over or w/e but he doesn't see it he thinks he still has a chance and then got pissed off at me cuz I told him that she and Jeff got together so now I'm just trying my hardest to bite my lip and not say nething. I saw nanu yesterday and wasn't nice to him cuz he's an asshole and I hate that I let him treat me the way he does... I dunno I'm through with him I've washed my hands of it.... I think... *sigh* -Elizabeth

What is copacetic? I remembered my passie!!! YAYAYAYAYAY!!!! oooo happiness! dude I'm kinda bummed... my friend Ryan who I hadn't seen for almost 10 years!! YES TEN FLIPPIN YEARS! came down to Texas! woo hoo!! made me a happy duck! we hung out every day and now I miss him :( and it was kinda funna cuz I was all like don't get attatched and now I am but it's really unrealistic cuz he lives in Nebraska now so I'm kinda bummed but ok at the same time I was talkin to a mutual friend and was all like do u think he misses me and then she got irritated and called him and he said he did so it made me happy but still bummed cuz i wont get to see him for a while but he is going to try and come back down before summer's over so that's pretty awesome! 3 of my "fiancees" moved away lol to make a long story short my 3 friends who are sibilings and I are "engaged" and now they've moved and left me all alone *sniffle* good thing I have 4 more "fiancees" and dont have to really worry bout it I'm all sunburned and stuff though so I ache I went to the lake tuesday and got really burned and now im dark but still burned and that's about it... adios ya'll xoxo -Elizabeth Protector The ULTIMATE personality test brought to you by Quizilla have you ever.. (x) smoked a cigarette ( ) smoked a cigar (x) smoked anything else (x) kiss a member of the same sex ( ) crashed a friend's car (x) stolen a car (x) been in love (x) been dumped.. (x) shoplifted ( ) been fired (x) been in a fist fight (x)snuck out of parent's house (x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back ( ) been arrested (x) made out with a stranger ( ) gone on a blind date (x) lied to a friend (x) had a crush on a teacher (x) skipped school ( ) slept with a co-worker ( ) seen someone die ( ) had/have a crush on one of your MYSPACE/LJ friends ( ) been to Canada ( ) been to Mexico (x) been on a plane ( ) thrown up in a bar.. ( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire (x) eaten Sushi ( ) been snowboarding ( ) met someone BECAUSE of myspace/LJ ( ) been moshing at a concert (x) been in an abusive relationship (x) taken painkillers (x) love someone right now (x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by (x) made a snow angel (x) had a tea party (x) flown a kite (x) built a sand castle (x) gone puddle jumping (x) played dress up (x) jumped into a pile of leaves (x) gone sledding (x) cheated while playing a game (x) been lonely (x) fallen asleep at work/school ( ) used a fake ID (x) watched the sun set ( ) felt an earthquake (x) touched a snake (x) been tickled ( ) been robbed ( ) robbed someone (x) been misunderstood (x) pet a reindeer/goat --sheep too-- (x) won a contest (x) ran a red light ( ) been suspended from school (x) had detention (x) been in a car accident ( ) had braces ( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (x) had deja vu (x)danced in the moonlight (x) hated the way you look (x) witnessed a crime (x) questioned your heart ( ) been obsessed with post-it notes (x) squished barefoot through the mud (x) been lost (x) been to the opposite side of the country (x) swam in the ocean (x) felt like dying (x) cried yourself to sleep (x) played cops and robbers (x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers ( ) sung karaoke (x)paid for a gas with only coins (x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't (x) made prank phone calls (x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (x) caught a snowflake on your tongue ( ) kissed in the rain (x) written a letter to Santa Claus ( ) been kissed under a mistletoe (x) watched the sun set with someone you care about (x) blown bubbles ( ) made a bonfire on the beach (x) crashed a party (x) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people (x) gone rollerskating/blading ( ) had a wish come true (x) worn pearls ( ) jumped off a bridge (x) screamed "penis" ( ) ate dog food (x) told a complete stranger you loved them (x) sang in the shower (x) have a little black dress ( ) fucked in a park ( ) fucked in the bathoom (x) had a dream that you married someone (x) glued your hand to something (x) got your tongue stuck to a pole ( ) kissed a fish (x) worn the opposite sexes clothes (x) been a cheerleader (x) sat on a roof top ( ) had sex at a church (x) screamed at the top of your lungs ( ) done a one-handed cartwheel (x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours (x) stayed up all night (x) didn't take a shower for a week --at the lake no one showers-- (x) pick an ate an apple right off the tree (x) climbed a tree (x) had a tree house ( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone (x) believe in ghosts ( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes (x) worn a really ugly outfit to school (x) gone streaking (x) played ding-dong-ditch (x) played chicken fight (x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on (x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger (x) broken a bone --nose-- (x) been easily amused (x) caught a fish then ate it ( ) made porn (x) caught a butterfly (x) laughed so hard you cried (x) cried so hard you laughed (x) mooned/flashed someone (x) had someone moon/flash you (x) cheated on a test (x) forgotten someone's name (x) slept naked (x) French braided someones hair (x) gone skinny dippin in a river ( ) been kicked out of your house

I am a bad kid... there ya go I said it.. I am a playa... there I said that too... I'm sorry for what I am. If I could change I would. Ya'll may want an explanation for these accuzations but I fear if I give out my explanations people won't be happy with me then I think when did I ever give a fuck what other people thought?? well never to tell ya the truth and I'm sorry if it offends anyone so here it goes... BAD KID BECAUSE.... "I smoke I drank I'm suppose to stop but I cain't..." ok in all reality I am an alcoholic cept not a big one I just like a good drink every now and then... and then I get in a make out w/ me mood and jump boyz *shrug* and I sneak out to see the boyz my parents wouldn't approve of... sad isn't it? PLAYA BECAUSE.... ok this one I don't really agree w/ cuz I'm not going out w/ any of these guys so i guess in all reality I'm just a make out whore? well newawyz sneaking out to see the BOYZ my parents don't like... it's gettin to be about 3 eh it could be worse I could be sleeping w/ them and spreading around lovely STDs eh gross... ok I feel better now... I hope ya'll haven't been judgemental or decided I'm some kinda crazy freak... mk I love ya'll xoxo -Elizabeth

This is turning into a once a month entry thing hehe I'm on spring break right now and I've pretty much been partying non stop.... so yea that's not good cuz it's like bad and I shouldn't and all Kes has been gone this whooooole week and I missie her tonz Mon-Wed i went to Dallas w/ my mother and brother so that was all kewl and stuff.... Yea that's all adios xoxo -Elizabeth

2 "atheist" haha i so saw up ur nose Wow, it's almost been a month since I wrote.. newayz I told Charles I liked him and we went to a movie one friday he acted like a jerk and I haven't talked to him since then. I'm talking to this guy, Maurice, everyone calls him ghost though. He's really sweet and he's an awesome guy. I'm also kinda interested in this guy I know, Bryan, he's pretty kewl.... I saw nick a lil bit ago and we exchanged numbers We talk from time to time but not much b/c when I'm not working he is, and when he's not I am so *shrug* I saw him wed though and that was fun. That's about it that's goin on with my life what about yours? xoxo -Elizabeth

Hmm I dunno what I want nemore... today in da car heading home tiff told me and Amanda that she just wanted to die... and ya know sometimes so do I... I've felt this way since fifth grade... and sometimes I think I'm getting better and other times... well... I dunno... I've been so pissed off with God lately and nothing's going right and everything's a mess and I just don't know where or what or even who to turn to.... I hate it... I told them that I felt the same way and amanda was like can we please just quit talking bout this and i felt so bad... I climbed in da backseat and gave her a big hug... I hate making her sad... :( cuz she had to go through all dis shit w/ our other bud tiffany and now she's in a hospital...... I dont want to turn into my sister.... And I want my other sister back... i dunno what to do... xoxo -Elizabeth

hmmm yea... well I got to see Charles... and i decided that im not goin to like him nemore. I think if I keep telling myself that he's awful(which he isn't).... that we never had a chance (which we prob did)... and that he just isn't right for me....(tiff thinks otherwise).... maybe I won't like him nemore.... Tiff was suppose to ensure that I got to see him wed by telling him that he had to come b/c I had a present for him, but I told her not to b/c I lied and said he told me that he didn't like me at all and wished I would just go away.... why I do these things I just don't know.... maybe I need to have some sense smaked into me... *shrug* xoxo -Elizabeth

I got this from a book called This Lullaby I likie it so I put it in here it's suppose to be a song... I might "steal it" then put it in my own words... the way I likie it... but maybe not.... xoxo -Elizabeth This lullaby is only a few words A simple run of chords Quiet here in this spare room But you can hear it, hear it Wherever you may go I will let you down But this lullaby plays on...

I hate everything.... everything that's right, but mostly everything that's wrong. I don't like God. I know that's mean to say, but he's a mean person. He's a cruel person. He doesn't understand pain. He doesn't understand he can only push a person so far. He doesn't understand people and he doesn't understand me. He's not a nice person. He thinks he's funny because to him life is a game. He doesn't understand that we need other people. He doesn't understand that we have sibilings to keep us strong. And if he takes one away it's the domino effect.... we all fall down. Sometimes I think he's Satan in disguise. He tells us not to do things... like killing others then he puts ideas into peoples's heads about how to make weapons.... how to strangle someone.... how to make drugs..... God is a really screwed up person..... and i need a hug but there's no one here to give me a hug.... b/c God had to take away the one person I want to hug.... I just wish he would let me be... That he'd quit tearing things out of my life. Things that are so damn important to me.... I don't know what I have done to deserve this. Maybe he thinks it will make my faith stronger but all it does is rip me apart. I really just don't like him at all.... -Elizabeth

Last nite as we were closing we were venting about boyz. I got a lot of things off my chest. And my guy took the cake... go figure.. I went to go hang out w/ Sarah the day b4 yesterday and we got all pretty and went to sherman where she got 2 guyz' phone numbers and I stayed over there feeling ugly. I don't like pretty people. Well I take that back cuz all my friends are pretty. I guess I just don't like it when I'm hanging out w/ pretty people and then it's kinda like fuck you you ugly piece of shit. And that's not true either I really only care about one guys opinion. I guess I just wish I had that flare and that I wasn't so ugly and grotesque. And someone told me once that I'm one of those girls you fuck then leave.... I'm not one u date and marry.... and sometimes I wonder if that's true.... I just wish I knew what was the matter w/ me why guys see me and think oo wat a nice piece of ass i wanna fuck her and don't think she'd be a nice gurl to settle down w/... RESOLUTIONS! 1. Work out on a regular basis w/ Tiffanie 2. Not to be afraid to take chances 3. To do what I want when I want 4. To be more daring (which is the same thing as 2 but w/e) and 5. Not to be so damn shy!

(x) - I've done (_) - I haven't done (/) - kind of (x) been drunk (x) kissed a member of the opposite sex (_) kissed a member of the same sex () crashed a friend's car (crashed my own) (_) been to Japan (_) ridden in a taxi (x) been in love (x) been dumped (_) shoplifted (_) been fired (x) been in a fist fight (x) snuck out of my parent's house (x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back (_) been arrested (x) made out with a stranger (x) made a booty call (lol it was a joke though) (_) been a booty call (x) stole something from my job (Candies almost free there though) (_) celebrated new years in time square (_) gone on a blind date (x) lied to a friend (x) a friend lied to me (_) had a crush on a teacher (_) celebrated Mardi-gras in new Orleans (_) been to Europe (x) skipped school (_) slept with a co-worker (x) cut myself (not intentionally) (_) been married (_) gotten divorced (_) had children (_) seen someone die (_) been to Africa (x) Slapped someone I loved (_) Driven over 400 miles to attend a show/festival/fetish ball (_) Been to Canada (_) Been to Mexico (x) Been on a plane (/) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show (_) Thrown up in a bar (_) Purposely set a part of myself on fire (x) Eaten Sushi (_) Been snowboarding (_) Met someone in person from the Internet (_) Been moshing at a concert *real punch in the face moshing (/) had real feelings for someone you knew only online (_) taken partially nude/nude photos of yourself (_) been pregnant or got someone pregnant (x) lost a child (not my child though :( ) (_) graduated college (x) taken painkillers (_) intentionally burned yourself (_) wished someone dead (_) wish someone dead right now (x) admitted to making a big mistake (x) been misunderstood (x) told someone i hated them when i didn't (/) told someone i loved them when i didn't (x) love someone or miss someone right now ____YOUR LIFE____ [x] They call me: Elizabeth (Libby/Izza/Izzie/Zizabeth) [x] Sex: female [x] My first breath of air: 04-03-89 [x] Age: 15 [x] Status: hmmm [x] Occupation: 10th grade [x] Nationality: american [x] Best home girl[s]: Alyssa Sarah TiNK Manders and lots of other ppl [x] Best homeboy[s]: Quentin aka Baby boy, Kyle, Charles, Dakota, Godfather Nanu (lol), BERT!! aka Adam, and a few others ____REWIND____ [x] Most memorable memory: sittin in da back of daddy's pickup checkin out the stars with my best budz [x] Worst?: hmmm too bad for words [x] First word uttered: probably dada... [x] First best friend ever!?: Alyssa... still is... ____FAST FORWARD____ [x] college planning to go: FCI (French Culinary Institute) It's in New York City [x] future resident of: hmm prob New york somewhere but not in da city im thinkin country [x] wedding: .....? [x] children: 2 or 3 but if more than that I want a handful ____PLAY____ [x] feeling like what color: fiery red [x] Listening: washing machine [x] Talking: Bert [x] doing: ....... [x] thinking of: lots of ppl [x] hating: no one ____LOVE?____ [x] love is: hurtful [x] first love: Nick [x] first relationship: hmm i dunno [x] Current Love: _______ [x] love or lust?: lust is when you love what you see love is when you lust for what's inside [x] best love song: Kiss me -Sixpence none the Richer it's a classic and straight to the point [x] is it possible to be in love w/ more than one person @ the same time?: hmm maybe if it's on different levels of love like your IN LOVE with one guy but you love the other like a brother maybe [x] true or false - all you need is love: false [x] have you ever been in love?: yes [x] is there such thing as love @ first sight?: no cuz then it's lust ____THE OPPOSITE SEX____ [x] turn ons: pretty eyes, niceness, being sweet, caring about others, smelling good lol [x] Turn offs: being gross, greasy hair, unwanted touching, rudeness [x] does your parents' opinion on your bf/gf matter to you?: depends... [x] What kind of hair style?: shaggy but w/e looks good is fine [x] the sweetest thing a member of the opposite sex can do for you?: making me feel special :) not like buying me gifts never never do that! [x] where do you go to meet new people?: lots of places [x] are you the type of person to holler n ask for numbers?: depends i will in a joking way ____PICKY PICKY____ [x] dog or cat: both [x] short or long hair: either [x] innie or outie: innie [x] sunshine or rain: rain [x] moon or sun: moon it's better in the dark [x] basketball or football: Basketball [x] righty or lefty: Righty [x] hugs or kisses: both [x] 1 best friend or 10 acquaintances: best friend [x] bf/gf or best friend: best friend [x] tv or radio: radio [x] starbucks or jamba juice: starbucks baby [x] mc donalds or burger king: ick... at mickey dz french fries nothin at BK [x] summer or winter: winter... perferably fall though [x] written letters or e-mails: letters [x] playstation or nintendo: nintendo [x] Disney or nickelodeon:: disney [x] car or motorcycle: motorcycle [x] House party or club: house party [x] sing or dance: dance [x] freak or slow dance: slow [x] yahoo messenger or aim: aim [x] google or ask jeeves?: google, jeeves sucks ____MISCELLANEOUS____ [x] what is your most embarrassing moment?: prob the time i fell down the stairs at the mall [x] what are you scared of?: clowns, crawly things, the monster under my bed, the dark [x] do you like tomatoes?: sure [x] how many TVs in the house?: 4 [x] how many phones?: 3 including cell phones though.... 7 and then the extras from the truckers so then it'd be like 13 so yea [x] how many DVDs do you have?: too many [x] last dentist visit: hmm i dunno [x] last doctor visit: the week b4 last [x] last phone call: Sarah

hmm I dunno how i feel right now... I kinda want Charles but he's one of those guys no one can have... *sigh* grr i wish he wasn't so untouchable... oh wellz... I'm getting my permit today! YAY! -Elizabeth

Ok in a few dayz this diary will be FRIENDS ONLY because my stupid bitch of a sister can not mind her own fucking buisness and has to constantly get onto my diary to read my fucking shit. I am severly pissed off. So, for those who want to be added as friends say so now or forever hold your peace for everyone else adios! -Elizabeth

** Likeavirgin thanx for the comment it was about a friend.... I was goin to comment on yours but i cant (obviously) *I take your hand and pick you up and keep you there so you can see it so long as your alive and care I promise I will take you there* I wish I could go back and tell Tiff not to talk to Charles... Eek! She's with him for a few dayz on their ski trip so yea... she's goin to talk to him about me. I think kelsie is reading my diary on here and it's really pissin me off.... I wish she'd mind her own fuckin buisness. hmm I've been working alot lately... but i dont got to tomorrow yay for sleeping in! Hmmm I wish... I dunno... I wish I knew I guess.... -Elizabeth

Everybody's Fool -Evanescence perfect by nature icons of self indulgence just what we all need more lies about a world that never was and never will be have you no shame don't you see me you know you've got everybody fooled look here she comes now bow down and stare in wonder oh how we love you no flaws when you're pretending but now i know she never was and never will be you don't know how you've betrayed me and somehow you've got everybody fooled without the mask where will you hide can't find yourself lost in your lie i know the truth now i know who you are and i don't love you anymore it never was and never will be you don't know how you've betrayed me and somehow you've got everybody fooled it never was and never will be you're not real and you can't save me somehow now you're everybody's fool

What do you do when your best friend cannot keep her hands off the guy you like? I HATE that. No matter what I do or how many times I tell her it bugs me she just keeps at it. I've given up on the guy I like now because of her. I just can not stand it. It's like she could get any guy in the world she wanted but she has to choose the one I like. I would never in a million years life or death hit on the guy she likes and she does not give me the same curtosy and it drives me crazy. I feel like the thought of hurting her is just devastating to me but when she knows she's hurting me she couldn't even give it another thought. It's really putting a strain on our friendship too. And I can't stand it!! I just want to disappear forever. And go somewhere where she isn't. And then maybe it'd be easier for me. And she even wonders why I have a low self-esteem it's b/c of her eagerness to shove me down beneath her to hurt me to JUST HIT ON EVERY FUCKING GUY I CARE ABOUT!! Look guys I'm sorry for this entry I'm just really upset -Me

*We're the song inside the tune full of beautiful mistakes and everywhere we go the sun will always shine and tomorrow we might wake on the other side we are beautiful in every single way his words can't bring us* Sometimes I feel like I live in a world of perfection and yet I am the only imperfect thing around. It drives me crazy. I wish I knew what it took to be perfect. And I wish I knew what it took to be beautiful. Why do some girls get the secrets while others are left in the cold pondering? If anyone knows the secret to being beautiful and perfect do share... it will be appreciated *sigh* -Elizabeth