i dicided its what i have to do ... if i ever want to be as skinny or pretty as her... sorry kat but i have 2.... this makes me so upset and crazy. this is such bull shit.... why am i so fucking stupid?? maybe if i was prettyer or skinnyer... I wish i had the strength not to care anymore but i cant do it. Somthing keeps me so attached and i dont think all ever get over it. Its somthing much stronger then me ... i just dont know what it is. And when i see him with her it makes me so mad and i feel so used... i wish i could tell him... or her... but i cant. Im soo fucked up with this its not even funni. I make myself feel like shit over it and i cant take it anymore. I cant win this contest with her. Im trying to give up but its not working so well... please... g-d... help me feel better help me get over this im trying my hardest to be stronger and not let them get to me. Its funny how they are soppose to be my best friends but how best friends can be soooo shitty. This isnt the first time eaither... Im so stupid i hate myself so much ps... kat i love you so much. I wish sum friends could act like you. Thanks for making me feel much better i dnt kno wat i wuld have done without you tonight. If anyone needed an example of a great best friend... it would be you... :) ...And I would be there everytime youd need me....