Its monday- school was okai todai. i went with my day being happy infront of all my friends. Then after school i went to wendys with Gordon Sherry Kat Cichy Alli and Brittany. Then we went to the park and sat on the swings. I tried 2 be happier because my friends hate that i am sad all the time. I dont want to be sad infront of them because now it seems if im sad they dont want to be around me. Well ill hide my true feelings 2 them. Iv been trying to get into my diary all day but it wasnt working finally i got it to work. This weekend it gonna be fun because im going to the Yellow Card and somthing corporate concert. Then saterday im going 2 my friend Emilys bat mitzvah Monday i have my friend matts barmitzvah. Im realli pissed because there is this carnival this weekend and i cant go its cuz im busy and alot of my friends are going. .... Ugh i have homework that i didnt do but im not going to i hate hw so forget that... School is shitty... todai is okai tho... tomarro is my sisters bday and my other sister got suspended from school for a week... i dont get how that find that as a punishment ... whatever todai was alittle better i wasnt as depressed as usual but everything still sucks you kno... atleast its not how it used to be when i couldnt sleep until 2 in the moring an stayed online doing nuthing... those are the worst days ... then i cant wake up 2 go 2 school. I have actully missed schol because of those days... i feel like killing myself those days ... like yesteday i cried for like no reason i felt like when i fell asleep i wished never to wake up ... i was so pissed and cried my eyes out for no reason ... I have this poem and i sent it to my friend Kat, she has this diary thing to so if u want its on hers 2 ... **angels are the guardians of hope and wonder , the keeper of dreams,Angels watch over you wereever you go and keep the day perfect and promise a bright tomarrow the motto of all angels is "life is wonderful" Wherever there is love an angel is flying by angels help you carry the ball, carry a tune, and carry on! your guardian angel knows you inside and out and loves u, angels give you a place when u feel theres nowhere ellse to go, whenver you feel lonely an angel drops in for tea they are always on call for a friend angels are there everystep of the way to help u soar ....well thats all fur now ill probly be writing more later peace to all Sammie