Okay well my mom is uber pissed at me. She won't talk to me. Whatever, she has major problems. She's been drinking EVERYNIGHT for the past 2 weeks and I hate it.. because my dad is an alcoholic and now my mom is becoming one. Yayy. Okay well anyway I got a call from Angela asking me if I wanted to go to the mall... sO I did.. there were a bunch of us there. It was uber boring. BUt i got this new thing from starbucks, dont remember what it's called, but its "drinking chocolate".. and its exactly like drinking chocolate! its sooo good I love it.. yumm. I loved sitting on the couch with all my friends in starbucks and just.. sitting, it was really nice. I was like, cuddling with Kristen and Ben.. even when they would start to make out haha. Icckk. Yea and I love playing the Jurassic Park game in the theatre.. we own. No DDR though, sadly. Then we all went to kristens and rented a movie and yea. I told kristen my secret on the shuttle bus and yea she said "oh my god he's such an idiot". We rented final destination 2, it was really cheesey and funny hah. Make out fest for the couple (Angela and Josh didn't do anything thank god). I got really sad. Yea. Makes me think I want someone again. I know for sure I do instead of a FWB....grrar. Ahh *sigh* I don't know. I talk about this almost every entry. Okay I should just let it go and enjoy the single life.. but really, the truth is there's nothing to enjoy. It's not like I HAVE a life anymore. It's not like I flirt with anyone. At school I'm just sick of everyone, I know them all and whatnot (Bart put this in much better words, he's so awesome) and outside, like at the mall and shit, I am just totally out of it, spaced out. Like when I was with shelby, didn't pay attention to anything, Didn't talk barely. My little internal clock is counting down (not to death.. well yea but thats not what I mean here) and my sub concious is waiting for something. I know something is gunna come and it's going to be wonderful. I will love it. My life will never be the same. I noticed that I am always telling my friends advice and giving them things, teaching them things. I am always doing things for them when they don't know how. And it's really annoying. I mean, i love helping them and stuff but.. it must be nice to have someone you can ask who can just tell you. How do you think I learned all this? (ex; html, guitar, math etc) I taught myself, studdied it, put so much hard work into it. And I never ask anyone for anything. I mean, sure I ask if they can pay for my bus fair if I dont have any change or whatever. And I am greatful that they do, but I mean.. different things. It's hard to explain. Ahhh... Today I am pining. (pine-ing) Love, Tessa La.