omg.. lol.. saw this on the bull bored.. about Ler.. made me laugh so hard i "accidentally" threw my remote at the cd player.. (dont know who wrote it but it wasnt the person from BB); "Claypool found Lalonde roosting on a telephone pole before asking him to join Primus, mainly for the band’s image which until then consisted of flannelled Claypool and an especially ugly bass guitar, but partly out of the need of an alternative and inexpensive energy source. "Energy source?" you say. Ted Claypool is often cited as the mutant of Primus, which makes Lalonde the mutagen, a caustic mix of irreverence and radiation that has resulted in him being banned from several towns since his presence is accompanied by sharp spikes in local birth defects according to leading teratologists, which severely restricts his touring schedule. When pricked Lalonde does not bleed blood but a blue viscous substance that when anal">analyzed yielded a chemical makeup somewhere between Battery">battery acid and ylem. At the age of 12, Lalonde dissembled a stratocaster and ate each part separately to fully understand it before developing a telepathic affinity for each of his instruments. Often laMBA">mbasted for his minimalist and atonal guitar playing, Ler actually plays more notes per record than Claypool and Alexander combined, but does so in a frequency too high for the human ear to hear. Ler is also responsible for lead vocals in Primus (Claypool actually performing backing vocals) but goes unrecognized for the same reason. If listened to in a higher frequency, the song “Hamburger Train” from the 1993 release “Pork Soda” becomes a lengthy dissertation by Ler in an alternating dactylic and anapestic meter on, among other things, Higgs Bosons, Lacanist Obscurity, instructions for building your own particle accelerator, basic limnology, and why he likes yarn. Lalonde invented the guitar, and also the triangle (the polygon and the instrument). Capable of time Travel">travel. Seminal rock band Pink Floyd have stated that the song “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” is about former band member Syd Barrett's descent into insanity. It’s actually about Ler. Unfortunately, Lalonde’s high energy level expends his life force exponentially quicker than the average human being. Thus, he is due to expire some time in the year 9000, when his body will reach critical mass and obliterate himself, the Earth, and every planet, asteroid, comet and sun within a three light year radius." its accually very flattering to him.. i think.. cept some parts.. anyway.. BORING DAY WOOT>> HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY KRISTEN, EVEN THOUGH YOUR IN NORTH CAROLINA.. CALL ME ttyl~