.... I wrote this big long entry yesterday, it was very exciting. i hit save, and LOW AND BEHOLD THE SERVER IS BEING MOVED OR SOME SHIT. so it didnnt save. sad day for me. my home life is slowly spiralling downwards. dad doesn't talk to mom, thus he rarely talks to me. Things are going insane in the household because all mom does is bitch about dad and all dad does is drink and drink and drink. my only relief from the crazyness is when ben is over, but I haven't seen him since monday and ... donno when I'll see him next. so I am losing it. I feel like just.. laying there and staring into nothing ness...my mind is like, blank and I feel like I'm burning out. its messsed up. well tomorrow's last day of school for the week, and that means last day of Culinary arts. its getting pretty shitty anyway. 4/5 words in the previous sentance had T's in it and 3/5 had more than one T. I think it's a sign remind me that next time i'm at the mall I have to buy Jar something for his birfday and mail it right away i feel like being an asshole to someone --- so I found out that my dad is going to vancouver in June to see Les Claypool and I am pissed because I can't go. Very pissed. Overly pissed. Mom and I were sitting in the living room and dad comes in and eats a smokey. Then they start talking for the first time in over a week, then out of no where dad says (jokingly) 'I thought we weren't talking anymore' and mom obviously didn't get it, she never gets anything like that, and she gets up to leave. dad said he was joking and im like 'well that wasn't a very nice thing to say' then mom says 'we haven't been nice to eachother all week tessa' and goes out of the room crying. what the bloody hell. this is some fucked up shit. srsly. *sigh*.... I'm gunna die