Why do I care so much? Why has it gotten so deep under my skin? Yeah sure, 2 years is a long time away, but I've started to think that everything we've ever said is a lie. That it's not going to happen. Ever. What's the fucking point then? Why tell me all this shit when you really don't mean it? When you never even believed in it. I'm perfectly happy with it right now. Of course I welcome change. But not when it's for the worse? You know what? You could have said "No, I'm going away" and we could have spent the time together, and then you would have left, and then I would have eventually forgotten about you. Or tried to. I don't want it to happen. I DON'T WANT IT TO HAPPEN, OKAY? Everyone's leaving and I don't want it! What will I do? I'm going to be as selfish as I want. For once in my life I'm completely happy and then everyone starts to leave, and that feeling is just torn away from me. I don't know what to do. I bet I'll just go to school here. Get a job I won't like. And be unhappily married to some guy I was introduced to. But I can change that. I'll run away. I know exactly where I'll go, but unfortunately I don't know what I'll do. I don't want anyone to leave. If it happens, I'm leaving too. I don't like this.