ahh man.. idk why i do this to myself? idk why im doin this. but its like.. it feels right.. and its weird. its like blowin my mind.. =. he made a new sn to specifically get a hold of me. n talk to jus me. its soo weirdd. ahhh.. n he says how much he misses me n my fam. i knew eventually this day would come. i guess i jus wasnt prepared for it. kinda came outta no where. so sudden. but i dont wanna go back to that. i forreal cant let myself go back to that. jus to get hurt all over again n prolly worse n worse. jus cant do it. i guess bein friends is ok right now. if thats wat u wanna call it. it even feels weird sayin that. ahhh. i hated himmm n wanted to kill him wen i seen him last weekend. i guess it all goes back to "everything happens for a reason". but i jus wonder n wonderrr wtf this reason could be.. that hes back in my life, once again. only one person knows tho. and thats all who will prolly ever kno. cuz shes literally the only person in my life that no matter wat i do, she doesnt judge me. and i am soo thankful to have someone like that. it feels so nice to be able to tell her anything n everything n kno that i wont be judged or critized by it. i mean u can only please everyone for so long before u realize that u need to please urself, and urself only. cuz wen it comes down to it, all that matters is how YOU feel. if ur HAPPY, then thats all that matters. who cares wat others think. its ur life.. not theirs.. ur not hurtin them or destroyin their life. u only live once. do wat YOU want. not wat others want u to do. although i hate admitting this, it feels nice to be talkin to him again. woww.. never thought id say that haha. its nice to talk bout our past. our good times. n we talked bout the whole break up n how everything ended n wat not. it was nice to have that closure. still dont understand why everything happened the way it did n why he acted how he did. but i mean, wats done is done. cant change the past. now all u can do is move forward n make the most of the future. which is exactly wat i plan on doing. i like to jus go with the flow. and take things day by day. who knows wat my future holds. only time will tell.