HOLY SHIT

haha i guess this is the first real entry in awhile folks

I've started to notice that i do infact drink quite abit. Yes it took awhile but i've noticed

As sad as it is to say, thats all i really had in the past. I had no one really there for me besides my friends. My friends are the best i could ever ask for.

But we drank ALOT, seriously we probably created new jobs for the economy lol. We went out all the time, tore down ever bar we went to, had laughs, danced, met new people, reconnected with old friends, good times.

But the days after always felt the same, wasted.... i'd rather not look at myself being wasted the night before, i look at the days after as the wasted...

Like today, I wanted to skate and finally get out to a few good spots and parks something i haven't really done because of school and such. But I feel shitty and hungover and don't feel like moving. I hate that feeling I always have.

Yet i've continued to drink and drink and drink

Cassandra, she's noticed i drink alot too, and that bugs me, im not mad at her, but it sucks being looked at for drinking alot, i know she doesn't consider me an alcoholic, but it still sucks being looked at like that.

Its not her fault tho, i really do drink alot, and i say over and over "oh thats it im done" but i ALWAYS end up going out again...

i really gotta slloooowwwww down tho, and i think today made me realise it finally, drinking takes away what i wanna do and disincludes some of the most important ppl in my life..

So hopefully i will stop drinking as much, im really hoping i do, i'll say so much money and do more thigns i wanna do

if you ever read this cassie, im NOT mad at you. You may not realise this but you've prolly changed my life. I really doubt i'd ever go anywhere with the destructive rate i was going before i met you. So i enternally thank you for that.

i can atleast look at last night as a fun night, it really was, had a great time with my friends, thanks guys im glad we did that

there will be more times, birthdays and special events, plus the two huge trips i have upcoming whistler and montreal

but i think its time to close the random outings chapter, im not saying they will never happen again just not as much as the past

its been fun

-Adam