Current Mood: WHY THE FUCK AM I LIKE THIS TODAY? alright today really wasn't so bad till aboot 6:30 i dunno i was waitin for a call from meaghan and she didn't call right around 6:30 so my stupid fucked up head started thinkin "o shes not gonna call she forgot all aboot ya" and that so i started gettin all upset in my head and shit then i felt angry so i called frodo to hang out and she called because she just got home, i dont even kno why i was all upset and angry but something made me like that. gets worse.. i told frodo i felt kinda fucked up aboot the whole thinger and he said i could talk to him so i did for abit, then we met up with steph, bryt some chick and devin, we walked around to the store and devin and i had a slushie contest, lol it was fun, we chilled abit more and meaghan, amanda and nikki showed up, that was fun till they left to clean the car from all the shit that was on it, we went to the park and layed ontop of eachother which was jokes, then they came back with jordan and left again. we chilled for a bit then frodo left and shortly after jordan, bryt and i left, on the way i threw a bottle behind the pizza place and they all yelled at us so i cleaned it up for them, dont even kno why the fuk i did that, walked home and wondered why they hadn't gone back to the park(meaghan, nikki, devin and amanda) and started feelin shitty again so i called up meaghans cell that, she called back aboot 10 mins after and prolly noticed i sounded kinda frantic. newayz i dont kno what the fuck is wrong with me, something in me felt that meaghan didn't care for me anymore and just made me feel shitty, i gotta talk to her aboot this, this aint the first time i've felt like this, im gonna tell her all aboot these stupid feelings that make me think the untrue tomorrow hopefully or tonight if she reads, i just gotta explain the whole shit load aboot um fuck i just dunno do i need help? EDIT: i found the perfect song for w.e's goin on with me: Until It Sleeps-Metallica "Where do I take this pain of mine I run but it stays right by my side So tear me open, pour me out These things inside they scream and shout And the pain still hates me So hold me until it sleeps Just like a curse, just like a stray You feed it once and now it stays Now it stays So tear me open, but beware There's things inside without a care And the dirt still stains me So wash me until I'm clean It grips you so hold me It stains you so hold me It hates you so hold me It holds you so hold me Until it sleeps... So tell me why you've choosen me Don't want your grip Don't want your greed Don't want it I'll Tear me open, make you gone No more can you hurt anyone And the fear still shakes me So hold me until it sleeps I don't want it.....NO It grips you so hold me It stains you so hold me It hates you so hold me It holds you, holds you, holds you Until it sleeps... So tear me open, but beware The pain's inside without a care And the dirt still stains me So wash me til I'm clean I'll Tear me open, make you gone No longer will you hurt anyone And the hate still shakes me So hold me until it sleeps Until it sleeps Until it sleeps Until it sleeps"