crazy crazy times... ive been having fun for the most part but ive really got to get my shit together. and now on top of everything thats been going on im sick and i didnt go to school today so im going to have to make up all of my classes that im already over in absences in. so thats going to be fun but its not like im skipping because i just dont feel like going to school. i truely dont feel good-- i actually feel like complete shit. and then to top it off i just realized that tonights my prism concert so thats going to be fun seeing how i didnt go to school today and now i have to still go to my concert and play and all i really want to do is sleep. my chest hurts so bad and everytime i cough it only gets worse. if its not one thing its always another-- or at least thats what it feels like. in my last like long entry i said that mike and i had been spending basically everyday together and we had... and then the weekend of erins birthday everything changed. i dont really feel like giving every little detail but basically that thursday and friday and saturday he completely fucked me and erin over and now we noo longer speak and all of this other unnecessary drama and bullshit has happened. it was all really ridiculous. so mike and kasey-- i cant stand either one of them and i really dont want anything to do with them. i dont care if erins still friends with them or not... im over it and im not trying to hang out with them anytime soon. it really truely hurt me because i did so much for them-- and not even really kasey but more mike-- and this is how he repays me. i really thought that he cared about me alot and that if anything we would be good friends and we would be there for each other when we needed each other but i guess that thats not how its going to work out. it deffinitly sucks because i still do care about him but i wont be treated the way he treated me because i know that i dont deserve it. anyways-- so the other guy whos a jerk too-- biggs... well that situation hasnt really changed. i talked to him a few times since the last time that i saw him but it wasnt really anything. but once again over the weekend we asked him to do us a favor and buy us a bottle and he refused-- and it really pisses me off because ive done a ton of shit for him and helped him out plenty of times. but whatever im really truely trying to move on. i still have so many feelings for him and i care about him so much but i dont need the bullshit from him. hes done so much to me and ive still given him so many chances and ive still basically made it obvious that i want to be with him and nooope-- he still wants to only want me when its convenient for him and thats not me and thats not what i want and for once im not gonna sacrifice what i want for what someone else wants. so with all of the drama between the guys and friends and my family i really thought that nothing could get much worse but i was wrong... i got fired like i said i thought i was going too. my ex-boss who i could never stand to begin with said that it was due to "scheduling purposes that they would have to let me go" and i still havent told my mom because i know that shes going to freak out when she hears that but ohh well what am i really gonna do. its not like i can change whats happened or force them to give me my job back because i know that thats not going to happened. soo now ive still got to tell my mom and look for a new job-- marv told me that TJ Maxx is hiring so i might apply there because its basically just like peter harris was and on top of that i would get to work with marv which would be wicked fun because hes one guy that i can actually stand these days... marv like actually defends us and like acts as a protector and not only that hes actually a good friend. i hope that him and erin start talking because i think that theyd be soo cute together and that he would be a good guy for her. and we all love marvy and we all get along so it would work out well. but well have to wait and see what happens... thursday night me and erin and katie went to boca joes and friday night we all partied/hung-out at brittnies... it was all wicked fun. and then saturday we went to marvs show and then we hung out literally all night-- we all came back to my house at eight in the morning. haha- we had some good times... but for most of the weekend i didnt feel good aka the reason why my mom made me stay home today. one other good thing that did happen over the weekend was that i got to talk to benny for the first time in forever! i miss him so much. we really used to have good times and he seriously was like one of my best friends... me and erin and him and stacks were like are own little family and we used to spend literally everyday together. but he told me not to be a stranger and said that i know where he lives and just because stacks and erin dont talk anymore doesnt mean that we cant come over and still hang out. so that was good and that really made my entire weekend better. soo i dont know-- things have deffinitly been crazy and for some reason i dont see things getting any less crazy. i guess that this weekend on saturday katie erin and alana and me might go to philadelphia for the day? and then on sunday erins going into the city with q and she said that shes gonna see if i can go with her because she wants me to go too. but i dont know if ill end up doing either-- itll deffinitly depend on how im feeling and whether or not my mom will even let me go anywhere or do anything. well i think that this entry is long enough-- im getting tired and i still feel terrible. and i still have to do some stuff around here before my concert and i was hoping that i would try and get some things done to get sort of ahead this week. until whenever.