i hate TBS, but this song is good and very relative to today. anyhoo... saturday there was no party, so we went to Supertrack and played in the arcade for an hour, then we went to IHOP and i crashed at bret's. this morning i got up at 7 and went to church cuz bret's playing bass this weekend.i fell asleep in the "mocha chill out room" in the youth building, then i woke up for 2nd service. i sat with micheal for about 10 minutes and we talked about sara, then she showed and as soon as he saw her he jetted, like, seriously bolted from his chair. he told me he still loved her and all of that but he never wanted to go back to it all. she asked what he said so i told her. i hate hurting my friends, i hate it with a capital HATE... because i am still so in love with her. i mean there is moving on on the outside, i've been going out with my friends and i havn't been bugging her about anything, if we see eacho ther yay and if not whatever... but it's not in my heart like that. if you read this alexz, don't worry, i'm just waiting for someone (like you) to steal my heart away from her. we're friends and i'm scared if i ever, ever, ever tried to get romantic in the least it would burn us out. we already had enough shit last time. and if we weren't friends it would break my heart, it's already bruised as it is. the upshot of it all is that i'm still in love with her, and i'm torn in between it all, i want her to be happy, and i want her and micheal to be together, because as long as she is without him my heart aches. i know it sounds wierd "emotional sympathy pain" but when you love someone like i love her you get such feelings. and if she got back with him it would put her out of my mind in that way, mikey is my buddy and i wouldn't mess with his woman, that's discool. and after that me and bret came home and it started raining super hard, so then when we bailed from the car as he was running accross his front yard he banged his head on thsi bigass ceramic bird feeder piece of shit and sliced his head open. my dad put a couple stitches in it. he's ok, but we didn't get to go out (SORRY ALEXZ!). anyhoo, i'm waiting for my mom to like go away or take a nap or something so i can get high. it's the only thing that can calm the storm in my head. peace LOVE and marijuana sauce.