i just don't know what to do with myself. i feel like i've regressed back to when i was like 13 and couldn't talk to the pretty girl next to me. not so long ago i would have engaged in conversation and had her number in hand before i left, well, depending on availability. but even girls with boyfriends have phone numbers. the only girls i can talk to are ones i already know. i mean, prime example, there is this girl at church who sings in the youth band. i play in the youth band sometimes, i'm always there, i've never talked to her. she's a knockout. she seems really really sweet. and i can't bring myself to even say "hi". i must come off so fucking dense. i get these "i'm interested" looks from girls and i just can't act on them. like my feet are stuck to the floor and my mouth is sutured shut. self-inflicted bullshit. where is my ego when i need it? self confidence. what self confidence? i need to get back in stride before i lose my mind. peace love and and extra serving of marijuana sauce...