This is a short essay that my lovely friend and, dare I say, soul mate, requested I host here on my diary. Renee has acted as my inspiration, since I decided to challenge the meaning of reality for myself: I shouldn't have to defend my drug opinions anymore than I have ever defended my religious views. But both are very sensitive topics. A drug is a substance that has an effect on the nervous system, and so most people are fairly acquainted with such a thing in some form. MARIJUANA I have done a fair amount of research on pot, so I wouldn’t call myself well read necessarily, but I know a decent amount of information on it. I sat and watched someone salivate all over a blunt, and lick it like a dog, in the process of rolling. I have smelled the pungent scent of pot, and it has even been shotgunned into my face. I know the mechanics of a bong, by research alone. I know that the contents of pot have several more cancerous things than cigarettes, but that pot doesn’t typically cause cancer, if ever at all. I know that some people experience the greatest high of their life the first time, and others don’t experience anything at all until the third fourth or fifth time. I’m familiar with terms like THC all the way to terms like Kill. And I have developed an opinion on marijuana. It doesn’t appeal to me in anyway, for what it is. I feel uncomfortable around it I think that it stinks. But deeper, I don’t like the way people think it is a pure substance that cleanses the body, when it is not. I don’t think it evokes the inner spirit (though I will speak more on this in a moment). I think it’s very filthy and raunchy, and the only thing I could ever find truly good about it, is (under the right circumstances) that friends can communicate on a different plane of thought. And that’s not saying much. However delving in the substance in the last several weeks, and even before, I find no truth in that only failures and idiots smoke pot. In my life: A best friend, who is a philosopher that has superior intelligence, smokes it. A popular rich girl. A thief and a liar (who actually has failed). But pot is not for me. LSD I’ve spent great amounts of time on this stuff, even venturing into online communities to see what people had to say. I’ve heard stories from a friend which fascinate me to an extreme. I gained an interest in it a while back, but went without researching for a while. The first person to really feel me in on the drug itself was my anatomy teacher. He told me about its history and effects. Then I did a lot of research on it, and I’ve become even more fascinated by it. But I’ve become less curious to ever try it. I’m not afraid of it, but I find it intimidating. It’s one of those things where I’d make sure to be in the right state of mind (in order to influence a more positive outcome, since outcomes are occasionally permanent, as it is said to alters one’s views of life forever. I want to avoid those effects totally.) and to also be in a safe environment of sober friends. PILLS Pills when taken correctly and wisely, and with pre-knowledge of what’s being taken, I find completely sane and understandable. I have disrespect for people who openly discuss even pill use in public facilities. Not the effects of pills, which I’d be intrigued by, just as any other drug. But I hate being in the company of people who discuss the pills they take or took the night before. And I hate when people exchange pills right before me. I find it extremely rude and displeasing. I am often disgusted by these types. I have tried a few pills in vain, but really only liked one of them so far. RECREATIONAL DRUG USE Not to justify anyone else’s opinions, I believe recreational pill use to be fine. I am against drug use for penis enlargement or dieting, because I think that’s dealing with things in a very unnatural way. But I think PILL usage to relax or rest the mind is beneficial and potentially relative to the freethinker’s lifestyle. With so much stress and tension some people endure, and occasional pill that will be harmless and unaddictive in small dosage is rational, in my opinion. Illegal substances, on the other hand, I won’t get into, since I’ve said I personally dislike pot. HIGHER THINKING This is the sole purpose I would ever want to try acid. So many users have claimed to see things out of this world. People have claimed to experience god. I want to feel this, but only to contact what is within me. People who experience these things experience what they want their mind to see and feel and become. And I want to know what my mind feels. I think the god invested in me is breathtaking. One user claims to have seen fetuses communicate with her. I’d like to experience this, in the right, safe environment, where I’d wake up to my old self again. ART AND INSPIRATION I feel a lot of things because of art. I am filled with so many images because of the things I have experienced psychologically and in the past. The thing is, I’m under the impression that drugs can’t make you more creative. People use depression, anger, happiness, landscapes, traveling, religion, politics, etc., as a catalyst for creativity. Are those things not drugs, when considering artistic expression? So then LSD conjures up these images, these thought provoking things…well the drug isn’t putting them there. The USER is putting them there. They’re images being sucked out of the subconscious and brought forth to the light. That’s all. But this is not researched, by the way. I’m assuming this is how it works. Much like a dream, I’d assume. You can’t explain it, but it’s in your head. Why take that for granted? I love my partner, and have been with him for a long time, and plan to be until I die. I never want to forsaken that bond between us, so I’d never use LSD without him present. And I never plan to use pot. This is what keeps me focused from these things, and makes me want to study it and find out all I can about it, without ever actually letting it be in my system. No one can put peer pressure on me, when it comes to something as powerful as using a drug. Anything I do on such a great level, is my thinking alone. People should not do things in order to heighten their status; rather to heighten their own level of appreciation, knowledge, or whatever makes them who they are. -Renee Lloyds