She can't remove her fingers from the trigger.

Listening to: the weakerthans
I’ll just let this go and let my tongue out for a night to release everything that has been caught on it’s tip. And to begin we'd have to go back to a girl that meant the world, that held the rope above my head and slowed picked away teasingly with her scissors. So sweet to the eye but always hiding behind this new disguise, coming back eachtime with new apology lines. And what fun is anything without a game? The one where you take the boy and make him think he’s all and everything you’d ever want. Then least expectingly take his heart and perceed to cut pieces down in size. You could start with names and call him everything in the book, then move along to giving other guys the look until you’re left with the prize, there’s no more heart to cut down in size. And she was the only one who knew how to make me feel like this, like I just swallowed my own fist. Like the whole world just ended and exploded in the pits of my stomach until I couldn’t move anymore but to turn my head on my pillow and pull the covers over my head. “SO load up the troops and move out and give your last stand. Show you can still be the man. “ With my heart in my hand I’m afraid i might fall and crush it all. And what’s left but a broken man with nothing left to feel but the burning gaps she blew out of me. But I can fight back, at least I’ve thought to think that thought a thousand times before. So this time I think I might believe myself, put this past on my shelf and forget about all the things she used to say to make those gray days seem all the brighter.. but don’t think about that, just about this. I never learn from my mistakes, one girl is all it takes. “booom boom” and aside from my heart, she just excersizes her fingers on the trigger. “holy shit, I’m dead again.” So come monday I try to move on... come next week we’ll see where tuesday goes... and behind the facts, is that my game is back. so i fall again for for a girl, trying once more to take this whirl...always coming back to thoughts of.... ugh . love- haaaaaa! It’s a bullet that blows you away in more ways then one.
Read 37 comments
hey chad this is a girl you have never talked to before. I havent got ot read all your entries yet but i am going ot work in that. This might sound weird but i think i have something in common with you. we both have a problem on are hands that we dont know how to deal with. I am sort of a depressed teenager still looking for help and reaching out to people that just dont reach back and i really would like to get to know you more. TTYL WBS
[Anonymous]
haha, you make me laugh, or blush. or both, yes that is it, both. well, thanks for your silly comment with the even sillier compliment about my writing. i am a horrible writer. really. well, not horrible, but compared to others, i suck. you are a better writer than I. well, thanks for being sweet. and hot. oops, did i just say that in my out loud voice? eesh.
dude im haveing problems how do you make freinds on this thing!
[Anonymous]
Hi.
nuh uh! but ur my favortie :)
[Anonymous]
favorite* heh .alex.and.ria.
[Anonymous]
can you get any better! i love the way you write!.. and i tootally understand the way you feel.. i let down a really specail someone and now its gone... but you seem soo great im soo sure she will come bac to u and if not shes missing out!
heart
rita
Hey it's all alright. My computer froze on me and freaked out and had a spasm. So it's all good. and No You rock.
[Anonymous]
Hey mr. popular, thanks for leaving me a comment that was really nice of you. How did you hear about that? I dunno I am kinda out of it still I probably told u or something right? Anyway, I like the entry good job again. And I have a soultion to everyones problems with females! Eve's school for girls! You send your female to me and in 3 weeks, shes perfect! She behaves and listens and does whatever she can to make you happy How is that?
[Anonymous]
Even tho we dont really talk anymore I still miss ya! Remember that ok? I kno its not much and u have all these great friends, but I just wanna let u kno that I'm here too :) Have a good day. And again, thanks for the note, it meant a lot.
[Anonymous]
thanks chaddy sweetie! you kick butt too! lol well love ya turbo! later!
~champ
[Anonymous]
love is just lust. there is no such thing =/ i like your diary though, and the way you write.
[Anonymous]
Chad you will never know how much of an impact you have made on my life. Every day I wake up and thank god that I have you as a friend.
So we meet again Pinky
Thought I'd say Hi
Thank You so much for your comment. Yeah Maxeen is awesome...i never saw them live but i know people (other than you) who have. Yes The Ataris are like my favorite band. The starting line and the ataris.
Hearts. Jessica.
Pee Ess. Your pretty rad! lol
dizamn, how do you get so many comments? i wish i was that cool. ;]

heart heart heart
[Anonymous]
you write...very very very well...
[Anonymous]
wow.. u really listen to good music... really good music..
you seem cool.
anyways my name is annie, im 18 and i live in minnesota, im a senior in high school..i go to a lot of concerts and stuff. i added you as a friend. hope to talk to you soon. later
[Anonymous]
why are you so depressed your a good looking guy dont get down live life if anything she should be the one who is depressed for loosing you k so cheer up :)
[Anonymous]
haha ill tell her..shes in my class right now..we're supposed to be doing our final but im done..
[Anonymous]
haha thanks. Yeah I drew on a piece of paper then took pieces from the picture and made it into an icon.
[Anonymous]
Thanks for the comment on my poem... I was kinda pissed and sad when I wrote that... and I can relate to the feeling of some kinda fucked up gun hiding somewhere in a relationship like a sniper saying, "Which one will it be?"

Heheh...

Take Care,
Meg
[Anonymous]
Hey Thanks, I really needed that right now. Your purty awesome yourself.
[Anonymous]
Aw thanks. I didn't even know I HAD a creative side.
[Anonymous]
I hope that she is worth the second whirl. Love is worth another shot, I say.

Hey, and thank you for stopping by and leaving me a note. It is really quite nice to hear from someone who I haven't corresponded with before. And also thanks for the compliment on my journal's style. Yours rocks some socks itself.
No I am being completely serious with you.
[Anonymous]
That's a beautiful entry.

No cuts is good. Very good. :o)
You're sweet. Do you mind if I add you to my Friends list?
[Anonymous]
thanks..so far..so good...tomorrow..now thats a different story

p.s my friend thinks you're hot
[Anonymous]
oh thanks. Yeah I got bored and made that.
[Anonymous]
thhhanks sweets;) yes love is a digusting word.Not to mention all girls love games and love to play with peoples hears, sad but true. i know i guess.


loooves*
[Anonymous]
hiding in the shower. ha yeah it was decent.
You're right: it's not rad to have a sad Chad lad. I'm sorry I made you sad, Chad the lad...because you are usually so rad and sad is bad, Chad.

Heh, rhyming is difficult for simple folk such as me.

Yeysome! Friendseys. :o)
[Anonymous]
yeah i know but april and i are cool now...me and mom too...their idiocity still pisses me off though....
love is the never ending cycle..and if it should end its usually to a pit of dispair....
Ah, well it is a very good movie, gave way for my newest obsession since I have no life that is how I spend my time because I am so super cool like that. -slaps knee-

-Armand
i told ya love sucks. But dont be down, i'm sure everything will work out for you. Any crap, thanks for the note babe :-) I am feeling better. I think it's FINALLY going away! Talk 2 ya latas! -LeeLee-
[Anonymous]
omg that was amazing and it also made me feel really bad. i feel like ive dont that ya know your words are absolutly amazing!
[Anonymous]